Decision Day 2016 is upon us. What will you sip as the results roll in: bland white wine, or a shot of Wild Turkey?
The Americans are at the polls November 8, and it’ll be riveting TV. Whatever happens, a drink might be a good idea, in fact a tremendous idea. A very tremendous idea. Will America make history and elect the first female president, or will the cult of celebrity rule the day? And what will you drink as the drama unfolds?
Here’s a list of some bevvies to get you to the victory ball, all of which are available at BC Liquor Stores.
The very best choice (obviously!) is a bottle of champagne. Winston Churchill so famously growled, “in victory I deserve it and in defeat, I need it.” With fizzy wine, you’ll be a winner no matter which way your politics lean.
- Pol Roger Cuvée de Reserve Brut is a victorious, proper champagne. This was Churchill’s house fizz, and he named his favourite racehorse Pol Roger.
- Or you can spend far less with Spain’s Freixenet (pronounced Fresh-eh-nett) Cordon Negro for $14.49. Consider this: if Donald Trump wins, and he re-writes trade agreements with Canada, you might be drinking lots of bargain wine like this.
Hillary Clinton supporters might consider tepid white, flabby white wine that is past its best. Pantsuit wine. But that’s not much fun to drink, so let’s go in the other direction. What could you give Clinton to boost her personality? Inject a little humanity in the Democratic candidate?
- How about the liveliness of juicy, frisky Beaujolais like this establishment stalwart from Louis Jadot Beaujolais-Village 2014.
- Or, a compelling white wine full of verve and joie de vivre (pantsuit anti-dote) is this outlier from the Savoie from Domaine La Rosiere 2015, alive with mouthwatering acidity, alpine meadow flowers and lemony goodness. It’s the epitome of interesting.
- If you, like The Donald, would like to “lock her up,” then choose the famous crooked bottle of mellow Rhone wine, La Fiole Châteauneuf-du-Pape. The glass is battle-weary, pock-marked black matte, and the bent shape has spawned a thousand questions.
The hard stuff
The Donald won’t be drinking of course, because he’s a teetotaler. He owns a winery in Virginia (where son Eric is the President) complete with obligatory hotel, and puts his name on a vodka bottle, but avoids drink because he lost of his elder brother to alcoholism.
- But, the Wild Turkey 81 Proof Bourbon seems like the right booze for the unpredictable, erratic, oddball behaviour of the man dubbed the “Orange Anus” by Rosie O’Donnell.
- If Vodka is more your steez, then pour a freezing shot of Russian Standard, as a salute to Trump’s alleged alignment with Vladimir Putin. Mix with a little orange Fanta to achieve the matching skin tone. Give yourself a Trump combover, apply hairspray liberally and…. bottoms up.
DJ Kearney is the Director of Wine for New District, an innovative wine technology platform. Kearney is a renowned wine educator who has trained over a thousand sommeliers across North America. She’s a critic for WineAlign and Chief Judge of the Vancouver Magazine Wine Awards and is always in demand as a speaker and judge.