It's Vancouver! Of course these 6 things are going to happen when it snows

Every year, Vancouver gets shamelessly mocked by the rest of the country over how we handle cold temperatures and snow, and it hurts our feelings a little bit, to be honest.

But we are the way we are, and we can be pretty predictable when it comes to how we deal with the rain vs. the white stuff.

It’s so predictable, in fact, that we’ve rounded up a list of the six things that will happen as soon as it snows and the temperature drops below zero.

One or two bridges will be closed

Chunks of snow and ice falling from bridge cables have created ice and snow “bombs.” (Josef Hanus/Shutterstock)

Two of the bridges connecting Metro Vancouver cities were built with architecturally and aesthetically pleasing designs. So beautiful. The only teeny tiny issue is that on more than one occasion, the snow builds up on the picturesque cables and freezes, forming ice balls that crash on unsuspecting motorists.

Karli Rae /X

If you need to take the Port Mann Bridge or the Alex Fraser Bridge on a snow day or even leading up to a snow day, there might be some lane closures. If it’s really bad, the bridges will be shut down, forcing folks to take the Pattullo or the Golden Ears Bridge instead and complain a LOT about the detour.

We will take our luxury vehicles up really steep hills

@siriscorpion/TikTok

Who doesn’t love driving their Lamborghini, Aston Martin, or Ferreri in treacherous conditions? From Cultus Lake campsites in the summer to a joyride in the winter, it’s actually not unusual to see a $300,000 vehicle out and about, no matter the season.

Seasons Greetings from Vancouver. Where this asshole has been trying to drive a Lamborghini with no winter tires on an icy driveway for the past half hour. Let the record show that he is also wearing flip flops. #QuietChristmas pic.twitter.com/8H2WNNoYj8

— Wes Regan (@411Regan) December 27, 2021

We will shamelessly mock their struggle to get up hills, though, from our freezing-cold spot in line waiting for the 99 B Line.

We will get mad when the buses get stuck

Daily Hive/Submitted

Speaking of buses, a tried and true measure of Vancouver in the winter is the absolute mess that the roads can become and the impacts this has on our ability to get to and from work, school, and beyond. People always argue that the buses in Metro Vancouver need snow tires after seeing pictures of backed-up transit or cancelled routes when only a few centimetres are on the ground. It’s so bad that we had to do an article just on the most notorious spots where buses can’t go in the snow, and some of them are in the same locations every. single. time.

We will use umbrellas or else shame those who do

Why people can’t just mind their own business about umbrellas in this city remains a mystery, but love them or hate them, there are a lot of residents who swear by an umbrella during a snowy day. It’s such a divisive topic that Daily Hive once penned pro and con opinion pieces on the use of umbrellas in the winter, and years later, it remains a poignant issue that we have to navigate. Plus, we really have to navigate when someone almost hits us in the face with an extra large umbrella on a narrow, icy sidewalk, but thankfully, our Blundstones have a pretty good grip.

We will argue it’s a “wet cold”

Paul Yates/Shutterstock

We absolutely cannot help ourselves when it comes to explaining why we suffer so much when the temperature drops. Compared to our neighbours in Alberta, who have fought -50°C windchill values, we will argue that it just feels colder here because of the humidity. It’s true to a certain extent that Vancouver is much more humid, but we have to wonder whether we might just not be acclimatized to the conditions more than anything else, and maybe we are just … snowflakes.

You might also like:
• Metro Vancouver's top 7 most death-defying hills to avoid in the snow
• 23 Vancouver transit etiquette rules that basically NO ONE follows
• Snow my goodness: Snowfall warning issued for Metro Vancouver

We will put our dogs in sweaters

Amanda Wawryk

True in the rain, true in the snow. We have to make sure our best friends are properly dressed for the conditions, and that means adorable jackets and even booties.

Masarik/Shutterstock

When it comes to puppy fashion, it will not surprise locals to hear the price tag can be in the hundreds of dollars, but anything for our animals, right? We can’t have ourselves looking unfashionable in the Olympic Village dog park, can we?

What are some of the things we’ve missed? Let us know in the comments below.

This piece was originally published in January but has since been updated.