A Brit's brutally honest review of classic Canadian foods

EWY Media/Shutterstock | Beth Rochester/Daily Hive

When I moved to Vancouver, my local friends were adamant I try a number of foods they described as quintessential to having a true Canadian experience.

I was game. I love a good bangers and mash, but England isn’t exactly known for having exquisite cuisine.

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I have to admit that I have very mixed feelings toward the classic dishes and snacks.

Some were amazing, but there was one particular thing I tried that I will never touch again, and you can watch me splutter through the reasoning below.

So, here you have it: a Brit’s brutally honest review of classic Canadian foods.

Poutine

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I was a bit apprehensive about trying poutine. Chips (fries) and gravy is a popular northern dish in the UK, but adding cheese curds? It sounded gross.

I have never been more wrong. Poutine quickly became the comfort food of my dreams. The richness of the gravy and all those cheese pulls… I can’t get enough of it!

If it was a smart nutritional choice to eat poutine every day, I would.

Kraft Mac & Cheese

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I heard that Kraft Mac & Cheese is a nostalgic food for a lot of Canadians, and I think that this nostalgia must be its only redeeming value.

It was absolutely awful. The whole dish tasted like cardboard, and the taste lingered in my mouth for what seemed like hours. I couldn’t shake it.

How people enjoy this meal, I’ll never know.

Ketchup chips

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I’m a big crisps (chips) fan so I was somewhat mortified to find that ketchup is a popular flavour here.

I think I’m still processing what they taste like. They are somehow sweet yet incredibly salty at the same time. I didn’t particularly like it on the first bite but also somehow could not stop eating them.

Ketchup chips seem as if they are designed purposely to confuse the eater. The jury is still out on this one.

Timbits

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Timbits are single-handedly the reason I want to stay in Vancouver. The bite-sized donuts are without a doubt my favourite Canadian food of all time.

Every bite of the sweet treats feels like heaven. They are less messy than the typical donut but without sacrificing the deliciousness.

Incredible. Just incredible.

Coffee Crisp

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Every Canadian I met hyped this chocolate bar up to impossible expectations. Watching their faces drop when I called it underwhelming was priceless.

It’s a nice enough snack with its sweet taste and crunchy texture, but it doesn’t exactly blow your mind.

Sorry Canadians, your beloved chocolate bar is quite average in the grand scheme of chocolate bars.

Maple syrup

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A Canadian food review would be incomplete without mentioning maple syrup.

This one is technically a cheat as I have had maple syrup before moving here, just not the authentic Canadian version.

After having it here, I don’t think I can go back to the knock-off UK brands. The taste is so much sweeter and more delicious without feeling artificial. 10/10 would syrup again.

Caesars

Tried my first Caesar and was not a fan 🥴 pic.twitter.com/JllewYSl6O

— Bethany Rochester (@BethRochester24) July 12, 2023

I was genuinely a bit scared to try this classic Canadian cocktail after reading the ingredients. My fear was correct.

I took a sip and then had the bartender laughing at me with the spluttering that followed. The clamato flavour combined with the Tabasco and Worcestershire sauce made for a tangy and grim experience that had me coughing and regretting my decision immediately.

Not captured in the above reaction is the reassurance from the bartender that it gets better with a few sips. It did not.

Good for the people who enjoy this drink but it’s a hard pass for me.

What Canadian foods would you recommend to out-of-towners? Let us know in the comments below.