Earlier this month, we invited Daily Hive Vancouver readers who identify as LGBT to submit their own ‘coming out’ stories as a way of empowering and inspiring others who may be struggling with their own sexuality.
The fourth of our reader-submitted coming out stories during Vancouver Pride Week 2016 details an internal struggle with accepting one’s true self and a mother’s rejection.
I’m Anne, 29 years old, and this is my coming out story. First of all, not being able to be who you really are when you’re with your family is the most difficult feeling of all.
I grew up in a Catholic family, and even went to Catholic school until I finished high school. It was hard at that time since my family knew already that I’m more into girls than boys. They would try to talk me out of it and sometimes my mom would get mad at me and tell me to fix myself. I’ve tried so many times to please them, I’ve hid things from them so that I won’t disappoint them.
I even asked a friend of mine to pretend as my boyfriend so that they’ll not think that I’m dating girls. When I was in college, I tried going out with guys just to see how I’d feel about that, since my family thinks that I’m going through a phase. But then I realized it wasn’t really a phase, because that’s who I really am and I cannot force to like something or someone only because my family would be happy about that. I would end up being the one who is lonely.
After that, I’ve continued to date girls, one relationship after the other, trying to weave a better lie in order to hide it from my family. After all those years that I’ve been lying and hiding to my family, I thought I would come out to my family if I am certain that I have found the right person that will be worth of all these consequences that I have to face.
Then in December 2012, I met that right person. I first came out to my sisters, and I was really happy and relieved that they accepted me right away and that made our bond closer. It took me awhile before I could come out to my parents, I just didn’t have the courage, so I just posted on Facebook my relationship status and sure enough my parents saw it and that’s when we sat down and talked about it.
Even though we had talked about it, my mom still can’t accept the fact that I have a girlfriend. She would still judge me and make negative comments about same-sex relationships in order to discourage me, and that’s really painful. All I ever wanted is to be myself and have the people I love behind my back, but I guess life isn’t really perfect. I just always pray that hopefully someday my mom will accept me for who I really am.
To all those people in the LGBTQ community that have yet to come out, just be brave and don’t lose hope. Whether or not your loved ones accept you, the important thing is you’ve managed to let them know who you really are and how you feel. And for me, life goes on, and I’ll wait for that day for my mom to fully accept me.