This Canadian zoo lets you name a nasty cockroach after your ex for Valentine's Day

Is your ex-partner relentlessly annoying? Always finding a way to crawl back into your life after you’ve thought you’d exterminated the relationship for good?

Do they also have a distinct musty almond-like smell and sometimes chirp or hiss at you? Maybe they run away when you turn the kitchen lights on too?

Well, then there’s a good chance you’ve been dating a cockroach, but even if you just have a typical run-of-the-mill nightmare ex, the Toronto Zoo is hosting the perfect promotion for you.

The zoo is holding a name-a-roach special for Valentine’s Day, perfect for your nasty ex-lover!

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It’s as easy as it sounds. Just dedicate a donation to the zoo, name the cockroach after your disgusting former partner, and send them a notification that you think of them on the same level as a dirty little cockroach skittering across a kitchen floor.

Have more than one terrible ex? Why not dedicate a roach farm to your past mistakes?

In collaboration with the zoo’s Wildlife Conservancy, the promotion’s proceeds will go towards the zoo’s many priorities, including saving wildlife and promoting conservation.

Roses are red; violets are blue… Is there someone in your life that’s bugging you? Give them goosebumps by naming a cockroach in their honour this Valentine’s Day ❤️

For more information or to symbolically name-a-roach: https://t.co/maFh8siDB5 🪳 pic.twitter.com/ZdB8EfUSjD

— Toronto Zoo Wildlife Conservancy (@TZWConservancy) January 15, 2023

Your $25 gift includes a digital certificate with your personalized ranch name, a sharable digital graphic, and a full charitable tax receipt.

“Cockroaches play a very integral ecological role in their rainforest homes by helping to decompose forest litter and animal fecal matter and are, in turn, food for many other animals,” reads a statement from the zoo, in hopefully the only recorded instance of “Valentine’s Day” and “fecal matter” appearing in the same press release.

“Despite their hair-raising reputation, cockroaches undeniably play a vital role in the sustainability of plant and animal habitats,” added the zoo, (which is more than you can say about your ex).

Seeing as Toronto is literally crawling with millions of roaches, this gift will also be very topical for all residents of the city’s countless infested apartment blocks.

So go out there and spread the roach love, Toronto.