Single and feeling the chill? It may be gettting cold outside, but that doesn’t mean that your love life needs to cool down! Here are five dating tips so you can get the sparks flying as we head into the winter months.
1. Tell people what you want
Do you friends and family know that you’re looking for love? Ask for help. It can be scary to tell people that we’re looking for love, but your social circles are a great resource for matchmaking. First of all, your friends know you well and are likely to pair you with a viable mate. Another bonus? There’s an inherent feeling of trust that comes from getting together with a “friend of a friend” that you just don’t get on a Tinder date. Also, you will experience the liberation and courage that comes from asking for what you really want, which is great practice for all areas of your life.
2. Post an honest dating profile
First of all, if you’re not on the online dating sites yet, then it’s time to let your fingers do the talking. Online dating is one of the best ways to meet people outside of your own immediate social circle. Here’s the hard part: make a profile that really reflects who you are and what you value. If you love hiking and snuggling on the couch, why have you posted yourself wearing a cocktail dress? I know, I know, it makes your ass look great, but is it reflecting what you really want? Step into the fire by being real, rather than trying to win a beauty contest. However, if you want to catch a mate who loves wearing a tux and taking on the town, then, by all means, bling your heart out. Use the creation (or revision) of your profile as a way to connect more deeply and authentically with your own heart’s desire, and give voice to who you are and what you want.
3. Join a club
If you want to meet like-minded people, then go to where your like-minded people are. Join clubs that focus on your interests (hiking, ballroom dancing, running, movies). Even if you don’t meet your next love, you will widen your circle of friends (see point #1) and have the chance to do more of what you love.
4. Be present
What happened to meeting someone at Whole Foods? If you’re so busy staring at your smartphone and wondering if someone has emailed you back on OKCupid, you may miss the hottie who is standing next to the kale. Open your eyes in the real world. It’s time to practice being friendly and open to possibility. Even if you don’t meet your next partner, being friendly and open to strangers has been shown to increase happiness. What do you have to lose?
5. Make a date with yourself
Happiness and well-being shine from within. For every date that you go on with a prospect, make a date with yourself. That’s right. Take yourself out for some personal R&R time and do the stuff that you love. We often think that we need someone else in order to do the stuff that makes us happy. By taking time to invest in yourself, you will become more confident, vibrant, and self-actualized, which is a more grounded and centred platform for a relationship, anyway!
If you’re not taking these steps, what are you waiting for? There’s nothing to lose, and everything to gain. Most importantly, following these steps isn’t simply about finding Mr. or Ms. Right; engaging in these practices will help you become more empowered in yourself. When we approach dating in this way, the process becomes fertile terrain for helping you to practice self-love, authentic communication, and mindfulness. And while you may find the partner of your dreams, you’ll also have taken valuable steps to find yourself.