This week in ‘terrible party ideas by The Real Housewives Of Toronto’, Roxy decides to throw a… Wait for it… ROXY PARTY! But after mulling it over in the ROXY KITCHEN with a ROXY SMOOTHIE and a chat with ROXY PERSONAL ASSISTANT, she later changes the idea to a “Fabulous Mexican Party!”
Which is great, but Mexico isn’t a theme. It’s a country. Don’t worry, I’ve sent Roxy a fabulous globe in the mail. I GOT CHU GURL!
After the procedure party controversy of last week, Roxy tries to shed Kara like a bad face peel and we’re not surprised. Firstly, her Julia Child impression left a lot to the imagination and if that weren’t a crime against nature, Kara also insists on kissing her husband for 10 full seconds. EVERY. TIME. This is a problem because it wastes a lot of valuable screen time where we could be receiving more fashion advice from Ann: “If your vagina isn’t hanging out of your skirt, why would you have to wear underwear?”
Ah yes, that old chestnut! To be fair, every Ann nugget in this episode was incredible. Especially when she compares Kara complaining about her botched facial procedure: “It’s like someone suing the President of Vietnam because they got a manicure.” OH NO SHE DIDN’T! ANN!!! Ann… I’m sending you a globe.
While Roxy stirs the pot trying to rally the RHOT troops against Kara, the real attitude is owned by Ann’s 13 year old daughter who we meet for the first time. While trying to pick a dress for Roxy’s fabulous Mexican party she tells her mom that one of the dresses would be great if Ann “wanted to look like an Asian hooker” with TOTAL DEADPAN DELIVERY. Basically, I’m sitting at the kids table with Ann’s daughter at the next, ‘come dressed as your favourite Vietnamese political figure party’, someone is sure to throw.
Finally, when we get to Roxy’s party at the upscale Mexican restaurant “Los Colibris” on King West, Kara is notably absent giving the rest of the RHOT girls a chance to get to know one another without the dark cloud of the 2002 face hickey looming over them.
The mood is light, but Jana has a vulnerable moment discussing her divorce and was met with genuine support by the RHOT cast. She clearly becomes emotional, making her seem all the more real. But not THAT real. I mean, you’re not fooling us, Jana. Just because you wear a sideways baseball cap to your ‘Joga’ class doesn’t make you one of us. YOU are a fierce, single, successful business owner and WE go to your class because we eat too much pizza.
We’re further promised more parties as Joan discusses her much anticipated Muskoka dock party and Kara is named as one of the hosts for an elegant AMBI Films gala being held in Toronto.
We also learned a new term this week: ‘corporate wife’. Which presumably means the wife of someone who owns a corporation. With great power comes great responsibility.
Also Joan said the word “gumption” and the world snorted audibly.