If you’re a true Stampeder, you’ve 100% been to and most definitely torn up the ground in the legendary Cowboys Music Festival Tent, which runs to coincide with the Calgary Stampede every year.
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While folks with fat pockets may have opted to dish out the $100 to get a fast pass and get inside quick, many of us just don’t want to spend the addition $65 on top of cover (a cool $35), which means we are stuck in the notoriously-long but also notoriously-worth-it line to get inside the tent.
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Joining the twisting queue makes you feel like a cow in a drunken herd at first, but once your buzz wears off and there’s nothing to talk about with your homies, the only thing to do is people watch – especially because there’s a huge chance you need to hit the porta-potty and you need to get your mind off that ASAP.
At this point, you’re clocking a plethora of hilarious characters, conversations, and interactions.
You might not see ’em all at once, but we can certainly guarantee these people are somewhere in front, behind, or even beside you in the line at the Cowboys Music Festival Tent.
First of all, if this is you – NOT COOL. Every cowboy and cowgirl in line wants to get in and buy those questionable little duel shots as soon as possible, so butting is no bueno. Whether you see your friend three rows over or not, just don’t do it, the side-eye from fellow party people is simply not worth the minutes you save.
The Line-Hopper Justice Police
They say what we are all thinking, and whether it’s the 10 Bud Lights they pre-drank with, or they just have a bold personality, these folks call out the line-hoppers, often leaving them to awkwardly crawl back over the wooden divider in shame. Not only is this person awesome for keeping it real, but they also keep things interesting by providing entertainment IRL, which is awesome for killing time.
“HIGH FIVE!” Is usually how this one starts the convo. They want attention, and they want it now. Not the worst kind of human to come across in line, but if you’re a fan of keeping to your circle, these people can get irritating depending on how many times they ask you what your sign is, or where you’re after-partying.
The Person Who Didn’t Want To Come
We’ve all been here, but it’s easy to tell when people in the Cowboys line are not into the scene. One glance at the long, twisted path to exit behind usually deters most from bailing once they’ve already waited a bit, but there’s no denying a person who regrets the lineup will also regret the $35 cover the next day.
The Fun Extra Rowdy Folk
Yes, we’re looking at you – the group who is singing Lil Nas X’s Old Town Road off tune and ridiculously loud. Rowdy humans are a permanent fixture at the Cowboys tent, and if you’re not into it, we urge you to head to a quiet pub somewhere far, far away from the grounds.
The OK, That’s-Too-Rowdy Folk
We all know these guys and girls, the ones that get kicked out of line, or are refused at the end of it. They take it just a bit too far, far enough for the many Cowboys security employees to notice them openly breaking rules in line (like smoking), or bothering other patrons. Again, if this isn’t you, very entertaining and a great way to pass time while you wait.
The Selfie Queens
Honestly, if this is you, do you boo. You are all dolled up, pre-sweaty dance sesh in the tent, and you’ve got natural light – take those selfies and #latergram. While you’re here, you may as well ask homeboy in front of you to take a full outfit snap, it’s the ideal way to kill two birds with one stone.