Just in case anyone was wondering, telling a bear to stop eating your kayak will not make the bear go away.
A woman camping alone in Alaska’s wilderness while on a solo kayak trip was visibly frustrated when a bear began gnawing on her only mode of transportation while she was setting up camp. Despite repeatedly telling the bear to go away, the woman just could not get the wild animal to listen to her.
A hilarious video captured and posted to YouTube shows exactly what happened.
“Thank you for leaving my kayak alone,” she said to the bear as it approached her. “I’m going to pepper-spray you in the face. That’s what I’m going to do to you.”
After pepper-spraying the bear, it retreats back toward her kayak, but the woman warns it not to go near her kayak.
“No! Get away from the kayak! Come here.” she shouts, “Stop it, bear! Bear! Bear, you’re breaking it, you’re breaking my kayak!”
She then becomes incredibly upset and sounds like she might be crying as she repeatedly asks the bear why it’s breaking her kayak and telling it to stop.
“Gosh darnit! Oh, why are you doing that!”
“It’s the end of September, why are you here? You’re supposed to be asleep!”
She then tries to reason with the bear, telling it that her kayak’s “not even food” and “doesn’t even taste good”.
“It’s just plastic!” she cries.
But the bear obviously does not listen to here, because you know, it doesn’t speak human. According to the woman, the bear continued to gnaw on the kayak for about 10 minutes after the video ended. She then needed to swim to a boat anchored in the bay to get help as her kayak was needing repairs. Another boat then picked her up and took her to Wrangell, Alaska.
The video is pretty gosh darn hilarious, so you should probably watch it right now. And remember, no matter how polite you are, bears won’t be listening.