You live in Vancouver. You’re a little bit ironic. You don’t know what to wear for your friend’s lame costume party. So you’ve decided that you’ll go as an inside joke with the rest of the city.
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If you’re stuck for ideas, let us help you out with a few suggestions for costumes that all your witty Vancouver friends will all have a sensible chuckle at.
An empty house
Raid your local grocery store for all the cardboard you can find, then cover yourself in a vaguely house-shaped costume and gradually slump throughout the night. Group costume version: your friends can be neighbours tutting and shaking their head every time they walk past you.
A bike lane
Dress all in black and paint two yellow lines on either side of your body. Like most Vancouver-related costumes, this one works best if you’re an incredibly polarizing person.
Tights, tights, and more tights. Team up with the bike lane to walk uncomfortably close to everyone. Bonus points for an awful bell you ring anytime you’re in someone’s way (which is always).
Ahh, our beloved transit service. If you can’t find enough cardboard for a bus, this costume can also take the form of a group of interns desperately tweeting apologies. Be sure to show up late for the full effect.
Cover yourself in construction tape and repeat, “Everything is excellent. Nothing is wrong.” Make sure you stay in one corner of the room and never make an effort to leave. Why would you? Everything you need is right there.
The housing bubble
Get your plastic wrap out and become the talking point of the party as your friends try to predict when you will burst.
Get those suspenders, flannel and black skinny jeans out of the closet. Bring the most obscure IPA you can find at the BCL and work it into conversation any chance you get. You probably don’t even need a new haircut!
Nothing is more quintessentially Vancouver than a yoga instructor. Sling your yoga mat over your shoulder, put on some comfy clothes that you can stretch in, and put a serene expression on your face, all while repeating “namaste” throughout the evening. Knowing actual yoga poses isn’t required.
“Yeah, I’m just trying to set an example, you know?”
Differs in no way from the smug alert costume.