Vancouver Strip Clubs a Dying Breed...

Gone are the days my Uncle used to talk about. Strip clubs now a day are as drab as they come. However, they are trying to reinvent themselves and I think its about damn time.

I don’t go to these institutions anymore unless my boss is paying. You have to ask yourself, why the fuck would you pay $40 for a lap dance. Basically this amounts to 3 minute cock tease. Heck, toss in a $100 or so more and you’ll be able to get some action from the ladies of the night that peruse up and down Seymour Street (ask Money J all about that).

Better yet, throw in a few extra dollars and you can hook up with one of the gals from Carman Fox. I’m just saying…

The strippers are nothing special. You want special then hop on a plane to fucking Vegas and hit The Spearmint Rhino. Trust me I go to Vegas all the time for “business trips” and they charge $20 for lap dance, you can get a preview, sure its in front of everyone, but the lap dances they give are far superior to anything you get here.

Meanwhile back in Lotus Land, only 4 establishments remain: The Cecil, No. 5 Orange, Brandie’s and The Penthouse. Out of the few remaining strip clubs, I still prefer the No. 5 Orange. However in the interest of staying alive, I suggest you visit them all, regularly.

The owners of the Cecil have recognized this and are trying to do something unique in Vancity (see Vancouver Courier article). Perhaps it’ll succeed but in all honesty most strippers lack enthusiasm on stage and well lets just say that doesn’t necessarily entice one to pay for a dance.

Viz.