Vancouver Craigslist ad for banged-up wood cabinet with "no supernatural issues"

Dec 19 2017, 8:18 pm

When it comes to funny Vancouver Craigslist ads, this one takes the cake for hilarity.

Earlier this week, a West End resident posted an ad looking for anyone in need of additional organizational furniture. The individual took a creative spin by assuring potential interested parties that there are no supernatural issues with the wood cabinet.

Naturally, your biggest worries revolve around whether you will be bringing back with you poltergeists or demon spirits. What could possibly go wrong?

The owner of the drawer also quipped that five years of studies at UBC to get an English degree has “finally paid off.” Here’s the full text of the ad:

Free to the discerning Craigslist user: a slightly banged-up wood cabinet with absolutely no supernatural issues whatsoever.

The doors of the top half swing open onto two roomy shelves, perfect for storing regular, everyday, non-occult items. Theoretically, there is space for a screaming witch’s head to appear and curse the owner in ancient Greek, but this has never happened and is extremely unlikely to.

Below are two banged-up drawers, neither of which gushes blood when opened. Could use a bit of TLC.

The dresser is fairly heavy and does not mysteriously levitate, so you’ll need a truck or a roomy car to transport it.

DIY enthusiasts might like sanding and painting the wood finish–it would be gorgeous in a light shade of robin’s egg blue–and everyone else will definitely enjoy its distinct lack of ghosts.

Let me know when you want to pick it up and I’ll put it in the alley behind my apartment, which is also free of ghosts and other supernatural entities.

Also available: extremely haunted coffee table.

The wood cabinet is no longer available as its owner has already parted ways with it.


Feature Image: craigslist

DH Vancouver StaffDH Vancouver Staff

+ News