A definitive list of toilet paper brands from worst to best

Mar 23 2020, 11:06 am

There are two kinds of people in this world: the ones that can stand 1-ply toilet paper, and the ones who absolutely can’t.

If you’re the latter, we’ll go ahead and assume you have a particular brand you’re fond of using when it comes to your private time in the restroom.

Whether it’s the thickness, the colour, or the adorable furry animal on the packaging, true blue TP fans always have an opinion of what’s top-notch when it comes to bathroom tissue, as the bougie folk call it.

Here’s a truly unnecessary and definitive list of toilet paper brands from worst to best.

8. Commercial Toilet Paper

Commercial Toilet Paper

While it’s a step up from a Porta Potty with nothing at all, this 1-ply toilet paper is dangerous (and truly, undesirable) for a number of reasons. It’s thin and fragile, hence making it difficult to maneuver and assess the amount you need, creating an overall sloppy and confusing experience. On the other hand, with this, you at least get a good deal price-wise, plus a friction rash at no extra charge!

7. Kirkland Signature

Kirkland Toilet Paper/Shutterstock

Kirkland Signature’s Bath Tissue is solid, but people who care about their TP situation would likely opt for a more *flashy* brand on the shelf if it was available. The only way this one reigns supreme is if there’s a big sale on, which almost always trumps preference in our books.

6. Purex

 

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It’s hip, it’s cool, it’s Purex. Enjoy the vibrant purple packaging and leave the generic designs behind. It’s also hypoallergenic and dermatologist approved, would you look at that! Kind of “vanilla” when it comes to choices but still, it does the job. 

5. Cashmere

 

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“Nothing feels like Cashmere” is their slogan, and truly, who wouldn’t want to use a toilet paper named after one of life’s most luxurious fabrics? Either you buy this brand or you want people to think you buy it, it’s got some bathroom status attached to it.

4. Royale

 

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If you don’t take a second to smile at the adorable kittens on Royale’s packaging, then we can’t be friends. This paper ranks high on our list purely because of its level of cuteness.

3. Cottonelle

Cottonelle

Cottonelle/Shutterstock

If you’ve got a fresh pack of these bad boys, be ready to experience Cottonelle’s dreamy signature ripples — this is the Ruffles original of toilet paper. The wavy design makes a difference and truly creates a unique experience for the user.

2. Charmin Ultra Soft

 

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Just like the brand’s signature bears, you’re going to want to rub this stuff all over your face. Charmin just sounds, feels, and wipes like home.

1. Charmin Ultra Strong

Charmin

Charmin/Shutterstock

Maybe you want soft, but anyone who’s in-the-know when it comes to TP knows you need strong. This is why Charmin’s Ultra Strong variety is taking our top spot. It’s the reliable brand we love but just like, extra reliable.