Single in Vancouver: Bag more than your groceries

Single in Vancouver? Next time you’re at the grocery store picking up the necessities, why not pick yourself up an extra treat? – A treat in the form of a single and available Vancouverite. When actively looking, you’d be surprised where and when you’ll find the single citizens of our city. Have I picked someone up at a grocery store? No, I have not, but I can honestly say I’ve feasted my eyes on more than just the junk food section at Whole Foods.

We all need to eat to live and shop at grocery stores to cook, and sure, you may come across as creepy while checking out those in the checkout line, but there’s a lot to be said about being inconspicuous.

Because the singles of our city are unfortunately lacking any clear sign of relationship status confirmation, such as a T-shirt, name tag, or bracelet for charity, there’s really no sure way to determine who is and isn’t in a relationship. If you were to approach every person you found attractive, chances are you’d be flashed the ring finger, middle finger or (because some people use words to communicate) you would be rejected. In my attempt to reduce the overall rejection rate of our city, I’ve taken the time to compile a list of tips and tricks to bag more than your own produce at the grocery store.

Look presentable:

Although we may all be tempted to throw on a pair of sweats, a baggy shirt and forget to wear a bra all together before a quick trip to the store, it’s important to rememberyou’re single, available and no matter the location or hour, you could meet someone, someone who might not find you attractive in the Mickey Mouse T-shirt and flood pants you should stop wearing immediately.

Please don’t mistake this recommendation with my suggesting you paint your face and curl your hair for every occasion; looking presentable has nothing to do with makeup, hair spray, tight jeans or high heels, just don’t expect to be hit on if you look homeless.

(On a side note, pulling the eat-and-shop with an open bag of Doritos in hand will further decrease your chances of being hit on – looking presentable has just as much to do with your actions as it does appearance.)

Seek out the lonely shoppers:

A man or woman shopping alone means one of two things – they have shopping duty in their relationship, or they aren’t in a relationship at all. Don’t go snooping through shopping carts but look out for men with fewer items; you can find the single male shopper in sections such as meat or frozen foods.

Also remember to check the ring finger – this quick and painless tactic will save you from rejection, embarrassment and time spent brainstorming some pathetic pick up line.

Covertly Creep:

You want to secretly linger but not follow to the point of attracting security; you do not want to be escorted out of a Safeway! THAT would be a low point in life.

Peruse the aisles; maybe you don’t need dish soap but some hot Ryan Reynolds look-alike might. The fact of the matter is people aren’t shopping to pick up or get picked up, so you won’t be noticed unless you make yourself noticeable. Don’t go making a scene by the bakery section, but do grab an item directly next to someone you find cute. You may catch their eye as you reach across the shelf or perhaps trigger their senses with your perfume or cologne of choice.

Ask questions/make comments:

Maybe you know all there is to know about fruit, but if some handsome gent is standing next to you in the produce section, become suddenly clueless:

“Excuse me, but I noticed you checking those pineapples and you seem to know a thing or two. How do I tell which one is ripe, what signs should I be looking for?” –Creepy, maybe, but a sure way to get someone’s attention.

Perhaps you dislike certain foods, but notice someone attractive adding that food to their cart, white lies aren’t illegal:

“I tried that out last week, it was great!” – Let’s just hope they don’t invite you over for a homemade meal using the ingredient.

Choose your location accordingly:

Whole Foods may be more expensive, but it seems they hold “attractive people” conferences every time I shop there. Urban Fare isn’t cheap, but attracts the attractive. I suggest Kits, Main Street, Yaletown, South Granville, Commercial, and Downtown Vancouver (where there are apartment buildings, there are single men and women.)

And remember…..

You’re single, available and no matter the location or hour, you could meet someone.

So there you have it, a few simple suggestions to reduce your chances of failure. But remember, it’s all on you; I won’t be there to hold your hand or push you to spark a conversation, so put yourself out there and it will hopefully pay off. Just please don’t get arrested for harassment at your local grocer and blame it on this article!