You drive her everywhere, buy her dinner and drinks, and tell her your innermost feelings. She also tells you her feelings…yeah, about the other guy she just started seeing. Are you tired of being a sap? Here is why you’ve been friend zoned, and it’s all your fault.
The friend zone, it’s all too common. Countless ‘nice guys’ get stuck in this tar trap and then ask, “Why doesn’t she like me?”. You’re a sucker, that’s why.
It’s time to face the facts, you friend zoned your self unwittingly, or perhaps half-wittingly. What happened is you were too afraid to go for what you really wanted and you played it safe. But I’m so nice to her” – Yes, you are nice to her. Nice enough to be excluded as one of her many options. While you polish her ego with nice guy compliments, Johnny bad boy is polishing her…fantasies.
What kind of attention is it going to take to get her to notice you? Well if you’ve friend zoned your self then she’s already as dry as the African Sahara. She will likely look at you more as her Ikea furniture technician rather than as her Chip’N Dale masseuse, but there may be hope.
Most guys who put themselves in this no-fly zone of love are typically unassertive, passive, submissive, can’t lead, are afraid to get physical, needy, afraid of offending others and are heavily approval seeking. Let’s face it, that’s just plain boring. If you don’t give her nausea you will probably make her consider celibacy.
The cure is simple, find another woman. If you’re really stuck on this one girl (needy) then you should reverse all of the needy behavior you’ve used thus far and start taking charge.
Just as with your health, prevention is the best medicine. To avoid becoming extinct in the eyes of another woman take these measures to ensure things start off well right from the very beginning.
When you first meet someone of interest you need to make your intentions clear. Not looking for friends? Then stop acting like her butler, she’s not Batman. Um, woman.
Passive men who make their date decide where they’re going and what they’re doing are demonstrating weak character, A.K.A. BETA man, man. Take the lead and don’t force your date to decide the circumstances of your get together. Most women don’t want to do the leading on a date. It’s the same as dancing, only one partner can run the show and she doesn’t want to be it.
3. Get Physical
If you don’t make some sort of move on a date then you may as well be friends because that’s what friends do (or don’t do). Take care to read the situation, but you should keep some light physical contact such as a touch on the arm, shoulder or hand. Step it up a couple of notches if you feel the chemistry and try a kiss. She’s not going to initiate it so you have to be the one to make the first move.
4. Don’t be slow
A huge mistake tons of guys make is to go slowly. This is always rationalized as ‘not rushing’, but what it really amounts to is fear of rejection. There is usually a small window of opportunity where you will have a chance to create attraction so strike while the iron is hot, and stop wasting time.
5. Be willing to walk away
If you’re treading on eggshells then you wont be open to take risk. You need to be willing to let her go and move on if things don’t work out. Don’t act like Gollum in the Lord of the Rings, “My precious…”
6. Date multiple women
Think being solo will make her like you more? Think again. Chances are if she’s all you have going on then you’re going to be acting needy because of a lack of options. Having options will not only help you be non-needy, but it will also give you a chance to choose a real match instead of settling just because you got a little attention to fill your lonely void.
If you can assert what you want and stop pussy-footing around your true desires you will find that this frustration will soon become a thing of the past.
The ‘friend zone’ is impossible when you don’t allow it. Have a clear purpose, when you want a relationship or sex you should act accordingly, and not like a friend.
Featured Image: Matej Jurcevic Photography