For Rent: $800 Langley Shack With Teleporter to Main and 11th

Dec 19 2017, 11:26 am

Sometimes a real estate deal is too good to be true, much like one that popped up this weekend on Craigslist for a sweet rental in one of Vancouver’s most desirable neighbourhoods.

Spotted by the folks at WE Vancouver, someone was having a little fun at the expense of sunglass-sporting hipsters yearning to mingle on Main and 11th with their jokey listing for a unit available for a mere $800. (Did your eyes bug out reading that price, too?)

Of course, even in imaginary apartment ads there’s a hitch: “Since there’s no affordable housing on Main, you’ll actually be living in a shack in Langley,” the now-flagged and removed posting reads. “The shack has a teleporter that connects directly to the lobby of a super-urban new apartment complex on South Main where each square foot costs $180/month, so you can walk out pretending you belong there.”

Cue the “Let’s Make a Deal” zonk sound effect.

There’s more than a little hipster hate in the faux listing, which begins by beckoning a certain kind of apartment hunter:

“Looking for a hip location to walk out of and go to cool shows and coffee shops and wear Ray-Bans or those new hipper circular shades that the beatles guy wore? This is it. Right here, right now. Dye your hair green right now, because you’re in.”

Ouch! And, um…green hair dye is a thing? All righty then. In case you’re on the market for a magical crash pad like this one, skip the Manic Panic and hoard your Toonies in your piggy bank, since rents these days aren’t getting any cheaper.

DH Vancouver StaffDH Vancouver Staff

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