25 of the cleverest submissions in B.C. Ferries' naming contest

B.C. Ferries is feeling the effects of a social media faux pas – asking for suggestions for the name of a new ferry from an audience of fed-up customers.

The ferry naming contest began Tuesday afternoon when B.C. Ferries announced the award of $500 to whoever could come up with the best names for three Intermediate Class ferries which will be added to the company fleet. But the ensuing results were expectantly not what B.C. Ferries had in mind.

Taking the opportunity to deliver criticism to the company, customers sunk the contest under a tidal wave of hilarious and unlikely names, poking fun at fare increases, corporate greed and the B.C. government. While many of the names give an entertaining read, they won’t be considered in the contest due to somewhat strict naming criteria.

For example, B.C. Ferries warned participants to regard the following rules:

Names should reflect BC Ferries and the coastal communities it serves
Names should appeal to both residents and visitors
Names should be gender neutral and easy to spell
Names should not be geography specific or reference an individual or event
Names should not contain symbols or accent marks
Names should not contain words currently used within a BC Ferries vessel name or vessel class name (i.e. QUEEN, SPIRIT, ISLAND, etc.).

Some also criticized the prize of $500, a measly sum when taken into account the cost of travelling on the provincial ferry routes. “500$? So one round trip with a family then…” one person commented on the company’s Facebook post.

Nevertheless, it is clear how the ferries would be named if British Columbians really had their way.

25 of the best proposed names for B.C. Ferries’ new vessels:

Spirit of The WalletSucker
HMCS Enterprise
MV Corporate Pork
Queen of No Other Choice
The Spirit of Unfettered Capitalism
Queen of the Cash Cow
The Queen of Transit Monopoly
HMS Overdraft
The Floating Crapsickle
Coastal Fair Hike
The Christy Clark Ark
Queen of I should of been a bridge
Spirit of Government Ineptitude
The costal calamity
Royal Docksitter
Coastal Complainer
The Coastal Corruption
Coastal Cafeteria
Spirit of Bad WiFi
HMS Cantafford
Queen of infinite fare increases
Coastal Why Do You Need A Friggin’ Gift Shop You’re A Ferry
MV Sailing Wait
Spirit of Good Luck Getting Home to Your Family On a Long Weekend
Queen of the Damned

The contest is open now until June 9. B.C. Ferries states on their website that a group of 12 judges will convene to name the top three choices and the final decision will be made by the Ferries’ Executive Management Committee. They suggest the best names should “reflect local values and culture, as well as BC Ferries’ role in operating a safe and reliable world-class fleet of vessels. ”

And one last final note…

The BC Ferries marketing/PR department should get a special award for not predicting how this naming contest was going to go.

— Kathryn Lancashire (@klancashire) May 20, 2015