With the second bear incident in as many days, Coquitlam is now officially under siege by bears. These bears are smarter than your average bear so be forewarned good citizens of Vancity. They are ruthless and meticulous in their attempts to steal your food.
We the good people of Vancity Buzz have volunteered to take care of the situation ourselves. We will be sending out the white bathrobe wearing Suburban Don with his mighty cigar and rifle to seek and destroy any bears that he sees roaming the suburban city streets. Rest assured Vancouver you are now safe to throw out your garbage in an egregious manner if you so desire.