Life will imitate art on August 8, as ESPN takes a page out of a Hollywood script. Literally.
The (previously fictional) channel was parodied in the 2004 movie DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story, starring Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, and Christine Taylor. And yes, they’ll be bringing us the finest in seldom seen sports.
While they won’t be broadcasting Average Joe’s Gym versus the Globo Gym Purple Cobras, they will actually broadcast some obscure sports, just like in the movie.
The network will broadcast sports like disc golf, Kabaddi, and arm wrestling.
You will need to know the five rules of dodgeball (dodge, dip, dive, duck, and dodge) because yes, they’re going to broadcast ultimate trampoline dodgeball.
They will even broadcast the 2017 Championship of Bags (whatever that is).
Here’s the full broadcast schedule (shown in Eastern Time):
|Midnight||2016 American Disc Golf Championship||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|2:00 AM||2016 WFTDA Roller Derby Championships||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|4:00 AM||2016 Sky Zone Ultimate Trampoline Dodgeball||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|5:30 AM||Firefighters World Challenge XXV||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|8:00 AM||2016 Kabaddi World Cup Final||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|9:00 AM||World Darts Championship||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|11:30 AM||Arm Wrestling: Best of WAL 2016 Championship||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|12:30 PM||2017 Championship of Bags||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|2:30 PM||EVO 2017 World Championship – Street Fighter||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|5:00 PM||Moxie Games||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
|7:00 PM||U.S. Open Ultimate Championship||ESPN8: “The Ocho”|
Here’s an explanation of each sport, courtesy of ESPN:
2016 American Disc Golf Championship: A sport that involves players throwing a disc at a target while adhering to rules similar to golf.
2016 WFTDA Roller Derby Championships: A game involving two teams of five women each, in which each team is on offense and defense simultaneously as they assist the designated “jammer” around the track. The jammer scores points for her team by lapping members of the opposing team.
2016 Sky Zone Ultimate Trampoline Dodgeball: Traditional dodgeball with the added element of players using trampolines during play.
Firefighters World Challenge XXV: Firefighters from around the world compete in teams to complete a series of five tasks including climbing a five-story tower, dragging hoses and rescuing a life-sized, 175 lb. “victim”, all while wearing full bunker gear.
2016 Kabaddi World Cup Final: A contact team sport that originated in India involving two teams and unique rule. The goal is for each team’s “raider” to tag as many of the opposing team’s players as possible and return to his/her home half all while taking just a single breath.
2017 Championship of Bags: A cornhole tournament for a variety of skill levels.
Moxie Games: An uncanny, new and amazing event which combines a variety of sports into one, such as dodgeball and juggling, martial arts and volleyball, and table tennis and soccer.
U.S. Open Ultimate Championship: A self-officiating competition with two teams on a field similar to a football field, but the object used is a disc. The objective of the game is to catch a pass in the opponent’s end zone.
Unfortunately for viewers in Canada, ESPNU is not available north of the border, although it would make a lot of sense for TSN (20% owned by ESPN) to pick up The Ocho on one of their five stations.