Mom's viral TikTok about dad not helping with kids on flight sparks debate
A video shared by a Canadian mom who noticed another mother struggling with her young kids on a flight while her husband did nothing to help has sparked an online debate about the division of domestic labour.
Kristine Sostar McLellan was travelling home with her family from Las Vegas after a spring break trip in March when she noticed an overwhelmed-looking mom with a “baby in her lap and a toddler beside her,” according to her now-viral video posted on TikTok.
@one_toughmother A little sunday rage for ya #momsoftiktok #deadbeatdad ā¬ female rage – ā¾
Sostar McLellan, who is based in Vancouver, said that the woman’s husband was seated a row ahead of her, and she went up to him, offering to switch seats so he could sit with his family.
She didn’t notice before approaching him, but the father was sitting next to another one of his kids.
Sostar McLellan claims that the man thanked her for the offer and proceeded to send the other child to sit with the mom, who already had her hands full. That was definitely not the response she was expecting.
“He enjoyed a kid-free flight,” she said on TikTok.
Sostar McLellan told Daily Hive that “she was completely caught off guard” by the dad’s response.
“I had no idea that there was a third child. I just thought that … this family had been separated for some reason.”
She added that when she saw the man was sitting next to another one of his kids, she didn’t think he’d take up her offer to switch seats and send the child to sit with the mother.
“When I realized there was a third kid, I wouldn’t have expected him to do what he did,” she said.
She also cleared up any confusion about what happened on the flight in a follow-up video, where she explained where she was seated and what she thought the father’s response should have been, given his wife was already struggling with two kids.
“The only reasonable option in this situation was for him to say, ‘No, thank you'” when it came to switching seats, she said.
@one_toughmother Replying to @Timmy Hope this clears up all the willful confusion. Most of the men in these comments making themselves KNOWN. #momsoftiktok #parenting #feminist ā¬ original sound – One Tough Mother
The incident stood out to Sostar McLellan because she writes and creates social media content around motherhood, equality, parenting, and taking on the “mental load” of being a parent and mother.
“That’s something I talk about quite a bit, and I thought that this really demonstrated the way that we treat the mom as a default parent sometimes,” she told Daily Hive.
She didn’t expect the video ā which she just shared on TikTok earlier this month ā would stir up such a strong reaction.
“I mean, I think I posted it in the way that I thought would be able to start the most conversation around this. But this is beyond what I could have thought,” she said.
She added that while some commentators didn’t seem to take issue with the dad’s decision, many felt itĀ highlighted how women are often expected to take on additional domestic labour in relationships.
“I guess cis-hetero relationships [are] kind of centred here. But for all the partners in relationships of that nature, who are trying to be better… but who maybe don’t always hear their female partners, I hope that this would really show how big this is, how systemic this is,” she said.
“It’s not just something that a partner is … nagging them about. It really is something that the majority of women everywhere feel.”
Sostar McLellan also made another video responding to comments questioning her response if the roles in the situation were reversed.
@one_toughmother Replying to @Coleton What if the roles were reversed? #feminism #parenting #coparenting #equalityinparenting #momsoftiktok ā¬ original sound – Cristian š¤“š½.
“I have seen in my life times where I’ve seen the dads in relationships be treated unfairly or carry more of the load, and it upsets me just as much,” she stated in her follow-up.
Sostar McLellan went on to tell Daily Hive that she simply believes in “equality in parenting.”
“I think both partners should play as strong of a role, and kids benefit from that modelling,” she said.
Sostar McLellan, who is also the founder of One Tough Mother-– a company that focuses on postpartum care–will be leading a motherhood summit in Vancouver in November.
She hopes the event will bring topics, such as the division of labour, to the forefront and unpack issues like the one she witnessed on the flight.
“I think in a lot of ways, all of this stuff [at the summit] does tie into this incident because it [touches on] all of the resources and safety nets that are missing for mothers.”
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