"Not returning my cart; judge me all you want": Woman starts messy debate on shopping etiquette

A woman has spurred a huge conversation online after posting a video saying she does not — and will not — return her shopping cart after a trip to the store.

According to her website, Dr. Leslie Dobson is a clinical and forensic psychologist with two decades of experience.

She posted a controversial TikTok video that garnered 11.6 million views in just six days.

“I’m not returning my shopping cart, and you can judge me all you want,” the Long Beach, California, resident begins.

“I’m not getting my grocery into my car, getting my children into the car, and then leaving them in the car to go return the cart. So if you’re going to give me a dirty look, f*ck off,” she declares.

@drlesliedobson #groceryshopping #shoppingcart #traderjoes #protectourchildren #protectourkids #educational #groceries #singlemom #drleslie ♬ original sound – Dr. Leslie

A barrage of comments slammed the doctor for being inconsiderate.

“Ok so a fun trick is: remember how you got your child to the cart? When returning the cart just do that but in reverse! It’s fun because having a child is a responsibility,” one person said. 

“There is a secret third option: You unload the groceries and together with the kids you go return the cart, also teaching them to do it as a byproduct,” another stated. The comment currently has over 118,000 likes.

Others mentioned the “shopping cart theory,” an informal test that became popular on the internet in 2020.

According to a much-shared screenshot from an online discussion forum, the theory is “the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing.”

“To return the shopping cart is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. To return the shopping cart is objectively right. There are no situations other than dire emergencies in which a person is not able to return their cart. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to abandon your shopping cart. Therefore the shopping cart presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it.”

The unknown poster adds that a person is neither punished, fined, or killed for not returning the shopping cart, nor do they gain anything.

“You must return the shopping cart out of the goodness of your own heart. You must return the shopping cart because it is the right thing to do. Because it is correct. A person who is unable to do this is no better than an animal, an absolute savage who can only be made to do what is right by threatening them with a law and the force that stands behind it.”

The Shopping Cart Theory:

“The shopping cart is the ultimate litmus test for whether a person is capable of self-governing.” pic.twitter.com/s6REzn3qUF

— Blake Robbins (@blakeir) April 25, 2022

“I’ll always say the shopping cart is the ultimate test to see what kind of person you are,” TikTok user Jayonce said in a comment under Dobson’s video. “Even with a baby I bring her with me to return the cart.”

Others sarcastically called the doctor “a gem” and “a wonderful person.”

“It’s May 31, and six million people have freaked out over me not returning my shopping cart because my kids are in the car. So I want to give you some statistics,” Dobson said in a follow-up video. “Last year, 265 kids were abducted in parking lots in America. Half of those were sexually assaulted.”

Dobson is likely referring to a report from the non-profit Kids and Car Safety, which documented these abductions by reviewing news articles; however, unlike Dobson’s claim, these stats are from 2022.

The doctor said that single moms returning their shopping carts are prime targets for predators to watch and grab.

“Many comments said that they would turn the car on, leave the air on for the kids, and go return the shopping cart. Well, in Los Angeles, in one particular parking lot, that’s at least a 12-minute walk; you could go to jail. There are reports from the Bureau of Justice saying 10% of crimes occur in parking lots. If you get to a parking lot, you should look at the lighting — you should look at security guards. You should look at how the parking lot is laid out. It feels safe, go return your carts. If it doesn’t feel safe, trust your gut. Trust your intuition and keep you and your family safe. It’s not worth the judgment you’ll get,” she said.

“There are actual lawyers who specialize in parking lot crimes and they sue the grocery stores, and guess what? I have been a part of those cases. So, if you want to be ignorant, go ahead, but I also have videos on the mind of predators, pedophiles, and why child trafficking occurs and how victims are targeted.”

Dobson has made several follow-up videos, and in one, she claims that she asked Chris Hansen, best known for catching child predators as the host of the show Dateline, if he would return his shopping cart. He allegedly told her he wouldn’t.

In a video posted on Tuesday, Dobson said she received comments from people who said they would not return the shopping cart for safety but are too scared to admit it because of the “attacks they’ll get on social media.”

In a video posted on Wednesday afternoon, she shows herself returning a shopping cart to the front of a store after a shopping trip.

@drlesliedobson #shoppingcart #drleslie #protectourchildren #protectourkids #strangerdanger #educationalpurposes #childsaawareness #safety ♬ original sound – Dr. Leslie

What are your thoughts on this debate? Would you return the shopping cart to make a minimum wage worker’s life a little easier, or would you not do so considering your or your children’s safety?

Let us know in the comments, or email us your thoughts at [email protected].