20 of @ScanBC's most amusing emergency scanner tweets
Since July of 2009, those behind the popular @ScanBC Twitter account have been actively tweeting out the happenings of emergency service crews throughout the province in a raw and unfiltered fashion.
For the most part, the tweets touch on serious subjects like assaults and robberies but, on occasion, they showcase some of the ridiculousness that happens in Vancouver on a daily basis – in a hilarious way.
2014 has been a busy year so far for @ScanBC. With that in mind, we’ve decided to highlight some of the more amusing tweets of the past five months.
Without further ado and in no particular order…
20. I wonder if they used the STOP or SLOW side of the sign…
#Vancouver Police are searching for a person after they took a traffic flaggers sign and hit them over the head with it Downtown.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) May 15, 2014
19. “Meet me at the swingsets at recess! You’re going down!”
#Vancouver Police are responding to a playground at 1100 W 72nd Ave after a child’s parent slapped another child’s parent in the face.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) May 14, 2014
18. Pretty sure their parents should be handling this kind of policing.
#Surrey #RCMP are responding to a disturbance in a residence near 66 Ave & 148 St, Report of two children fighting over a bathroom.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) May 10, 2014
17. “Santa sure doesn’t look quite like I remember… And he’s seven months early…”
#Vancouver PD are at a house after a male tried to break into a house using a ladder. Resident kicked ladder away. Male now trapped on roof
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) May 6, 2014
16. Most men can’t wait to get away from their ex-wife. This guy? Not so much.
#Burnaby #RCMP are responding to a residence on Albert St after a female found her ex husband living in the carport
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 28, 2014
15. Say it ain’t so(il)!
#Vancouver Police are responding to 400 W 23rd Ave for a report of someone stealing dirt from a garden
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 28, 2014
14. Be honest, how many of you went inside after seeing this one just in case you were next?
#NorthVancouver #RCMP are responding to a residence on Westview Dr. Caller reports his neighbors are smoking pot and using foul language. — ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 30, 2014
13. Michelangelo, is that you?!
#Burnaby #RCMP are responding to Metrotown after a male was threatening security guards with nunchucks.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 17, 2014
12. #firstworldproblems
#Surrey #RCMP are responding to a residence in North Surrey for a female breaking things and screaming after her parents took away her car. — ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 28, 2014
11. The girl’s parents from #12 could probably use some parenting lessons like this one.
#Vancouver police responding to a domestic violence call – daughter says she was being hit with a wooden spoon
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) May 14, 2014
10. This is what prolonged exposure to public transit can do to a person.
#Vancouver transit police responding to seabus terminal for female breaking windows with her head. EHS crews are staged. — ScanBC (@ScanBC) May 13, 2014
9. The “Dine and Dash” strategy doesn’t work so well when you order to your front door…
#Vancouver Police are responding to a residence after the occupants payed for a pizza with a fake Credit Card. Now not answering the door.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) March 29, 2014
8. I’ve heard of the Masked Crusader, but never the Maskedurbator…
#Vancouver Police are searching for a naked masturbating male in the area of E 24 Ave & Lillooet St. Only wearing a Balaclava over face. — ScanBC (@ScanBC) May 16, 2014
(h/t @anothermutterer)
7. Must have been a tough day at the office for ex-Canucks GM Mike Gillis.
#Vancouver Police have come across a male laying on the street at Richards St & W Hastings St with his pants down.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 28, 2014
6. We’ve all daydreamed about doing something like this while stuck in rush hour, but this guy actually followed through. Respect.
#Vancouver Police at a road rage incident on Commercial Dr. Report that the driver of a vehicle kicked a pedestrian in the groin.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 9, 2014
5. Someone has been playing way too much Grand Theft Auto.
#Vancouver Police are responding to Seymour St & Dunsmuir St after one taxi drove into another taxi, road raging over a fare. — ScanBC (@ScanBC) May 17, 2014
4. January 1, 12:01 a.m. : “This new year, my resolution is to not get stranded on a log in False Creek!”
January 1, 3:53 a.m. : “Damn it…”
#Vancouver Fire on scene with a male who is stranded on a log in False Creek near Science World. Tech Rescue Team is responding.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) January 1, 2014
3. They must have been hop-ping mad with each other! Get it? Cause beer has hops? I’ll see myself out…
#Vancouver Police are responding to 100 Water Street for a report of 2 females fighting over beer.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 28, 2014
2. The way this one is worded, I’m not sure whether it’s the two parents or their kids who are stuck in the high chair.
#Surrey Fire crews are responding to a house to assist the parents of two children who have gotten stuck in a high chair.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) April 7, 2014
1. I’m not sure what’s a bigger robbery; what this guy did or Starbucks charging almost $5 for a coffee.
#Vancouver Police are at 6542 Fraser St, A male stole $250 from Moneymart and is now buying a coffee from Starbucks next door.
— ScanBC (@ScanBC) March 3, 2014
Got any other @ScanBC tweets you think are hilarious? Share them in the comments below!
Featured Image: Hand toilet via Shutterstock
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