So you’re in university. Congrats.
Seriously. It’s an important step. It doesn’t mean you won’t move back in with your parents at some point (trust us) but that’s – arguably – an even more important lesson to learn.
So we thought we’d take a gander through the looking glass, assess a few things we’ve learned since living in a res room, and sum up the best way to help you live your oh-so-responsibility-free life.
We also promise not to be too condescending.
But let’s face it, we’re the older, more experienced you. We know sh*t while you’re still stuck thinking you know sh*t.
So listen up, us, we’ve got a few things to say.
You don’t have to drink all the drinks
There will always be drinks. And there will always be the chance to drink them. Remember this when you’re about to down your eighth shot on a Tuesday night simply because it was someone’s birthday on the 9th floor of your res.
Sweatpants aren’t for the classroom
We refer to a show that was sadly before your time and for which you are all the worse for having not seen:
Laundry should be a weekly, not monthly, activity
Don’t smell. And don’t wear things that smell. It doesn’t help your game in any way, shape, or form.
You don’t have to hook up with anyone who simply agrees to hook up with you
Holy sh*t, you have your own space (if you ignore your roommate) to bring back any guy or girl you can. Trust us, that doesn’t mean you should bring back any guy or girl you can. Regret is the longest lasting hangover of all.
Avoid debt as much as you can
That doesn’t mean you won’t have debt, it means avoid it when you can. Like, you don’t need to order bottle service so a few people will think you’re a baller. You’re not a baller. And that’s a good thing.
Don’t fail anything
Stay out late, party, skip a few classes – sure. But absolutely, under no circumstances, allow yourself to fail a class. It will seriously f*ck you over. Anything is better than an F.
Go to class
On that note, attend. As much and as often as you can. We know it might seem super boring now but it turns out getting a handle on macro economics actually does help you later on in life. As does knowing how many (and where) Canadians fought and died for you to be able to skip a class ’cause you met a cute girl at the bar last night.
Take advantage of your school’s health services
You’re pent up with a lot of sh*t right now. You’re 19 and the world is going to be mean and impossible a lot. Talk to someone about it. Pressure is a very real thing and so are nervous breakdowns.
The Freshman 15 is very, very real
And it takes more than a year to come back from it.
Leave your room
Don’t be that hermit who spends more time in front of their computer screen than meeting people IRL. You’re surrounded by more interesting people your own age than you ever will be again. Go for a walk. Find them. Talk to them. You won’t regret it.
Make an effort to get to know the city you live in
You’re spending (at least) four years in this place. Get to know it beyond what campus and the bars look like. If it’s anywhere in Canada, we promise it’s worth exploring. Our towns and cities are cool as sh*t.
You really will make some lifelong friends
And it’s the best. So don’t be a dick to them or you’ll have no one to hold your hair back when the
going tequila gets tough.
This is a great time to figure out if you’re a procrastinator and to deal with it
The good news is that if you’re a procrastinator, first year is perfect for it. The bad news is that if you are, you only have one year to figure out how to not be. Procrastinating will f*ck you over as long as you let it. Ironically, it’s better to deal with it than put it off forever.
Don’t stay in a long distance relationship
In fact, don’t be in a relationship at all. You’re 19, it’s not going anywhere. This is your chance to have fun, gain some experience, play all the fields there are. Just stay safe, make smart decisions and have a hell of a lot of fun.
Don’t do cocaine
Enjoy the drinks and weed and shrooms, but don’t damage your brain. You’re going to need it later. As a side note, no one thinks you’re as cool on coke as you think you are on coke. Keep that in mind.
None of this really matters
At the end of the day, nothing you do (hopefully) will make or break you. It’s a great learning experience. So sit back, relax, enjoy the ride, and keep in mind that as long as you don’t f*ck up too much you’ll be back living in your parent’s house in no time.