Getting engaged and planning a wedding are very exciting, but it’s also important to focus on the bigger life event that follows: the marriage.
Here are five things you should discuss with your spouse-to-be BEFORE you get married:
This one should go without saying, but surprisingly, many marriages don’t work out because money becomes an issue. Make sure you talk about how you’re going to structure your finances once you’re married: how much you will each contribute to various accounts, who will be responsible for physically paying the bills, how you will breakdown your monthly budget, and how you plan on saving for your future.
Oh, and if a pre-nup is necessary, make sure you take care of that too! Figuring these things out ahead of time will set you up for greater success and eliminate any surprises.
You definitely don’t want to end up married, only to discover that the person you’ve chosen as your lifelong partner doesn’t want kids when you’ve always dreamed of having them. Make sure you’re both on the same page and discuss things like how many you each want as well as how you envision your parenting style.
You may live in the same city as your partner now, but maybe you’ve always dreamed of moving overseas. Or maybe you met your partner in his hometown but had always planned on moving back to yours to raise your kids. You should definitely discuss your ideal location plans with your spouse-to-be to make sure that you’re both on the same page with where you want to live.
Most of us have goals that span a variety of areas: personal, career, physical, spiritual, and family, and it’s important that we continue to work towards them once we’re married. Talk to your fiancé about your goals and theirs to make sure you can support each other in your individual goals and that the goals that affect you as a family unit align with theirs. You want to make sure you’re moving ahead on the same page.
The lifestyle chat is important so that you can be prepared for a drastic change or be confident in the knowledge that you can continue on as you’ve been doing. This one also closely ties into the money talk. Do you like to take a vacation or two every year? Do you enjoy shopping for clothes and going out for nice dinners on a regular basis. You’ll want to make sure that you’re both aligned on the lifestyle you plan to lead as a couple so that you don’t feel like you’re unwillingly compromising once you get hitched.