FEATURED EVENTS IN YOUR CITY
In news that will be music to the ears of fans of TV’s favourite right angled sea sponge, someone in Abbotsford is attempting to bring one of Spongebob Squarepants‘ weirdest scenes to life.
We are of course talking about the “7 mile spanking machine,” an iconically oddball moment from a season 3 episode that first made it onto our screens back in 2003.
So what is a “7 mile spanking machine” we hear you ask? Well, it’s probably best that we show you rather than attempt to explain it in all its glorious absurdity:
But do you know what’s weirder? People are actually going to try and recreate it, in Abbotsford.
Yes, as absurd as it might seem more than 5,400 people are interested in recreating the sequence, which would see people stretching for 7 miles (that’s a shade over 11 kms) while someone crawls through their legs to have their butt slapped.
The stunt is the brainchild of Caleb Pilgrim who has even produced a video helping “spankers” to get prepped for the derriere slapping stunt.
As well as offering advice on how to attend the event, Pilgrim’s video also has some warnings for would-be participants.
“Keep your smacks light,” he advises. “Don’t destroy somebody because there’s no reason to do that.”
He also serves up some nuggets of information for would-be crawlers:
“If you’re a crawler bring some kneepads, [and] some gloves…makes it easy.”
Ever resourceful, Pilgrim has even set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for the event, which, at the time of writing, has reached $55 of the $1000 they want to raise in order to pay for “a mariache band [sic], food, drinks, celebrities, (or people that look like them) and anything else you want to put it towards for our amazing spank event.”
All in all it adds up to one of the weirdest events we’ve ever heard about here at Daily Hive towers, but one which we cannot help but root for.
So, if like us, you want to see a 7 mile spanking machine whir into action, get yourself down to Highstreet Shopping Centre in Abbotsford on November 18!
But don’t worry if you can’t make it on the day. Pilgrim says that the plans to capture the stunt on video so that you can witness what 7 miles of spanking looks like for yourself.
Where: Highstreet Shopping Centre, 3122 Mount Lehman, Abbotsford
When: Saturday, November 18 at noon