Single in Vancouver: Late night food run

Single in Vancouver? Restaurants open past 1:00 am, where the drunk, the single, and the hungry accumulate in the early hours of the morning, are optimal for slurred and entertaining conversation with the opposite sex. Yes, I’ve touched on the topic prior, but it’s important not to overlook the places where we so often find ourselves with no intention of meeting new people.

Nothing screams romance quite like slurred speech, the scent of stale tequila, smeared makeup, and greasy food. Although to some this may not be the ideal place to meet a future partner, it’s time to face reality. Anyone single in this city knows that it’s not all roses, red wine, and you sure aren’t about to star in a romantic comedy – this is Vancouver. We go out, get wasted, get hungry, and probably wouldn’t mind some friendly conversation while we await our delish late night food of choice. I’ve had some highly interesting conversations while in the presence of Fresh Slice patrons. I’ve also had some less than preferable verbal altercations with those who feel too superior to wait in line (but that’s besides the point). The point is that we, the collected singles who actually strive for human interaction, are always waiting for the right opportunity with the right person (and who’s to say where and when that will be).

Believe it or not, there are a few positives to meeting a drunken stranger while shoving poutine in your mouth:

You are already at your worst

As I like to say, there’s really nowhere to go but up if you’re drunk, look disheveled, and don’t smell fresh. If someone approaches you for anything other than a lighter while waiting in line, consider yourself late-night-food-lucky.

You have no regard for your surroundings, actions or your impression on the general public

When you’ve made the decision to leave a bar or club and have shifted to food mode, you care about one thing and one thing only, getting that food in your system. If anyone wants to get to know the “real” you, tell them to meet you on a Saturday at 3 am outside McDonald’s on Granville. Being drunk and hungry results in a loss of self-respect or respect for those around you (e.g., I was once told to leave a McDonald’s on Main Street after causing a scene due to my sister “accidentally” throwing away my French fries – self-respect down the drain). You’re completely yourself in the worst form, which is actually ideal for meeting someone seeing as they won’t be surprised to see this side of you five months down the road.

People will talk to anyone that listens

Maybe you don’t want to hear about a stranger’s night out at the Roxy but they are going to describe it to you in great detail as you patiently wait. It’s no surprise that alcohol increases our verbal diarrhea, so expect single people to approach with the worst possible pickup lines of all time – you thought they were bad at the bar, you just wait. Beware of those looking to start fights with anyone who looks at them the “wrong” way or doesn’t even look at them at all – you will find these people huddled in a blur of Ed Hardy.

Because you are both in line for food at a time when creepy morning people are blending smoothies and/or exercising, you know the following:

This person eats food that breaks all Weight Watchers rules and guidelines.
This person goes out, gets drunk, and goes for food (how romantic that you have that in common!).
This person is most likely going home and going to bed (we all know post Donair or Pizza is not the time for booty calls).
I’ve had a stranger assist me in carrying six McDonald’s meals to wasted girlfriends down Granville Street. I’ve been locked inside a Donair restaurant because they feared the violent customer outside. I’ve eaten a taco while sipping a beer, which is awesome at any hour. I’ve taken photos with chefs at Denny’s. I’ve kissed a Subway employee on the cheek. As you can see these stories have nothing to do with meeting single people in Vancouver, but everything to do with being young, single, and laughing about it! Go have fun and like I said – don’t underestimate the potential fun of meeting new people in places you never thought you would. McDonald’s on me!