Sex in Vancity: Why can't the women of Vancouver tell us what they want?

Dec 19 2017, 3:18 pm

Chelsea,

Ok, there are a couple things we need to straighten out. Why the (insert swear word here) won’t women in Vancouver just tell us what they want. Better yet, what get’s them off. Constant head games and no straight answers! It would save millions of male headaches to know rather than guess all of the time. Seriously girls, save humanity already.

Sincerely,

Confused Male

 

Hey Confused Male,

Sorry to hear that the women of Vancouver are confusing the male population, I’ll round up the troops and get this one sorted out asap. This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked to dissect the female brain- we are a mysterious and emotional bunch that over-analyze most situations regarding men. So you want to know why we won’t just tell you guys what it is we precisely want? You are also curious as to what gets us off, but that one I can’t answer for the group. Sure the majority of women might be hesitant to state their list of wants and needs out loud.  Yet some, the other extreme, the ones who tend to scare men, tell you what they want, when they want it and hope you will one day own the title of baby daddy. There has the be a middle ground I agree.

Women are never going to flat out tell you what you want to hear because we are smarter than that. We need some sign- a green light-a glimmer of possibility that you, yes you are actually interested. We don’t like putting it all out there… you need to work for those answers! As for the sexual aspect, why any woman wouldn’t tell a man what gets her off is beyond me. I understand that some people are shy but when you trust someone enough to have sexual intercourse I feel that you should be comfortable enough to at least point to the right spot. Those who voice their preferences and desires in the bedroom are likely to have a better sex life. So ladies, if you are hesitant to tell him he has had the wrong moves for the last few months, just think of how much better the sex will be. We all win here.

I understand that women are confusing, that we over think every word and sentence, that we take things out of context- we all know we are messing you guys up, but it isn’t really a game. We aren’t intentionally confusing you; we are just looking for the right moment to answer the questions you may have. But are you asking? Are you flat out being clear that you are genuinely interested to know what WE might possibly want? Men are simple; they say they want a salad because they want a salad. A woman says she wants a salad but really wants fries but hopes you will say she should have the fries and that she doesn’t need to eat the damn salad- we are exhausting. A man tells you what he means not some words that decode into a realm of female nonsense. All I can really say is I hope women aren’t intentionally playing mind games – those are the ones that aren’t worth waiting it out for the answers with.

 

Image: Asianbeam

DH Vancouver StaffDH Vancouver Staff

+ News
ADVERTISEMENT