Review it!: Bachelorette

Let me start by saying Bachelorette is not Bridesmaids, though the film’s premise (three girls embark on a bachelorette party adventure) is similar — the film runs a different course.

Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher and Lizzy Caplan star in this comedy about three dysfunctional friends who attempt to leave the past behind while serving as bridesmaids at the wedding of a girl they mocked mercilessly back in high school. As teenagers, Regan (Dunst), Gena (Caplan) and Katie (Fisher) used to call Becky (Rebel Wilson) “Pig Face”. A few years later, Becky is about to tie the knot, and calls on her taunting former classmates to join the wedding party. Though Regan is determined to give Becky a bachelorette bash she’ll never forget, tart-tongued Gena has already started partying hard well before the big night and capricious Katie seems to have her head stuck in the clouds. Later, as the ladies cut loose and the booze begins to flow, a mishap with the wedding dress sends the entire event spiraling out of control, leading to a wild night of debauchery that neither the bride nor her bridesmaids will ever forget.

I often don’t use words like “horrific” and “unbearable” to describe a film, but Bachelorette is just that. It is the bastard child of two popular films; The Hangover and Bridesmaids. I was never a fan of Bridesmaids; I don’t find Kristen Wiig funny. However, I do recognize instances of humor that some viewers might find funny, and critic the film accordingly. I tried to do the same for Bachelorette, but this film could rightfully be described as a downright bitch-fest. There’s no nicer way to put it. The film should have been called “Bichelorette”. They are selfish, vicious, hateful people with mouths so dirty it makes sailors look like Girl Guides.

I tried to find something positive to say about the film as I realize there are real people with real feelings behind the production, so I’ll say this — the film started out with promise. It was possibly funny for the first 15 minutes, but quickly descended into a downward spiral of garbage. The movie focuses on their noble quest to either fix the wedding dress or find a new one. Along the way, there’s plenty of sex (without nudity, the only thing that could have saved it for me), complaining, boozing, complaining, cocaine sniffing, complaining, more boozing, followed by some more complaining. Bachelorette sucks out anything that might be considered humorous and replaces it with awful writing and toxic characters. I’m talking one dimensional,  gluttony filled creations with no emotional depth, that will make you sick from the monstrosity developing on screen.

It’s not only the writing and directing that is god-awful, but the acting as well. We should expect more from a veteran performer such as Dunst, but even this reliably good actress is defeated by the one dimensional character she portrays. Caplan and Fisher on the other hand immerse themselves in their characters – boozed and drugged-up messes, it probably wasn’t hard for them to “act” this way. The male actors in this debauchery of a film are; James Marsden, Adam Scott, Kyle Bornheimer and Andrew Rannells, who manage to be amusing at points, but are mostly in the film to serve as accessories for the girls.

Some Critics might defend this film as its director Leslye Headland’s first feature. Though it’s based on one of her previous plays of the same name, the film never achieves what her play did. Believe me when I say this, regardless of what you find funny, it won’t be found in Bachelorette.

I give “Bachelorette” a 2/10.

Felix Kay,
Catch Movie reviews by @TheFelixKay every Thursday on Vancity Buzz.

“Bachelorette” is rated R for profanity, sexual content and Drug use. Running time: 91 minutes. In theatres everywhere September 7, 2012.