5 things to consider when it's time to combine finances with your partner

Who doesn’t enjoy a good love story? The kind where the main characters share a strawberry milkshake with two straws, ride the Ferris wheel together, and somehow finish each other’s sentences. It’s a classic for a reason — but after the credits roll, real life sets in. 

And real life means real conversations. You’ll work with your partner to figure out who’s going to do the dishes, what your future together might look like, and when it’s finally time to combine your finances.

Combining finances with your partner is a big step, and it’s important to be prepared for what that might mean for you. While you want to believe that your partner’s finances are in order, depending on their financial situation, this might not be the case.

To gain some perspective on how to merge finances with your partner successfully, we talked to a Wealth Advisor at Vancity,  Sophie Salcito, with over 25 years of experience in personal banking. She gave us some helpful tips on how couples can prepare to merge finances, what to look out for, and the importance of being honest throughout the process.

Get clear on your own boundaries with money

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Before having the conversation, Salcito recommends reflecting on your own relationship with money and considering what you already know about your partner’s financial behaviour. Does your partner have any financial red flags?

“Ask yourself: are you a spender or a saver? What’s your risk tolerance when it comes to investing? What are your financial goals? More often than not, [partners] do tend to balance each other out,” Salcito tells DailyHive.

Asking yourself these questions before talking to your partner will not only help you sort out your own relationship with money but guide the conversation toward figuring out the best way to approach financial roadblocks as a couple. As well, going over your assets, savings, debts, and retirement plan individually will help you prepare for a more productive conversation with your partner, adds Salcito.

Setting financial goals together lays down the groundwork for a solid financial relationship with your partner. Salcito says if you’ve already reached milestones in your relationship — like moving in together, getting married, or buying property — discussing your financial future should feel like a natural, comfortable next step.

Meet each other where you are

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When you sit down with your partner to have a conversation about merging finances, always be upfront and honest about your own financial situation. This will result in less conflict, help you reach your goals faster, and protect you from any surprises down the line, says Salcito.

“Say you open a joint line of credit with your partner. If your partner is unable to make payments, you’ll be stuck footing the bill,” she says. Salcito warns that your financial institution will see this as an unpaid debt given in good faith, and you’ll be the one stuck dealing with it.

This is where the questions from the previous section come into play, as they will help lay the groundwork for a productive conversation. They’ll also help the two of you get a clear picture of what both of your expectations are when merging your finances.

Always put yourself first

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A big thing to consider when combining finances with your partner is whether or not you should keep a separate account for yourself. 

Salcito recommends couples should protect themselves by maintaining separate bank accounts for their personal payroll and savings, then opening an external account for shared expenses they each contribute to.

“I think that that’s a good safety net for each person to have,” she says. “I have plenty of stories where someone’s joint account was drained by one person taking out all the joint money.”  To avoid any surprises down the line, stick with your long-term financial plan and stay on track with your financial goals, and know where your assets are, says Salcito.

Plan for the future

These days, people are living longer than ever. Over the past century, the life expectancy for Canadians has risen to 79.8 for males and 83.9 for females, which leans on the importance of planning for your long-term financial future.

Salcito also notes that, because women tend to live longer than men, cis-heterosexual couples should plan accordingly — citing a recent study which states 90% of women will be required to play the role of sole financial decision-maker in their lifetime.

With this in mind, couples should plan to have regular financial check-ins to go over their goals. Over time, you may face challenges and setbacks along the way, and tackling issues as a couple will help set the stage for your financial success in the future.

Choose the best financial institution

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Congratulations! You’ve successfully had the big conversation, and now it’s time to pick a financial institution that aligns with your goals.

“If you haven’t been happy at [your bank], it might be time to go out and find one that works for the both of you,” says Salcito.

Vancity can set up a simple financial plan for couples, whether you’re a new or existing client. Its planning software allows you to set up different scenarios and map out future goals to see how close you are to reach them. If you’re looking at buying property, they’ll also help you sort out what kind of mortgage you qualify for at your income level.  There’s never been a better time to join Vancity, with new members eligible to receive up to $790¹ in value when opening a new account.

At Vancity, not only are you supported, but your values are, too. They take an equity-based approach when addressing the systemic barriers people face while seeking financial services. Vancity advocates for people by supporting financial education and resiliency programs, funding community projects, and helping to build a clean and fair world. They also share 30% of their profits every year with their members and communities.

And finally, take the big leap together

Alright, you’ve made it! You’ve had honest conversations about your financial goals, understood the risks, and are happily working with an institution you both trust. It’s now time to merge your finances and live happily ever after. Now that’s a good love story!

If you and your partner are still looking for your perfect match in a financial institution that will work with you to support your financial future, now is a great time to join Vancity. Get up to $790¹ in value when you open a new account.

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