As the puck drops on a new NHL season, everyone’s attention will naturally turn to the athletes on the ice.
But their stick-handling skills aren’t the only thing that fans will be interested in. In fact, the well-paid, dentally-challenged, impossibly sculpted stars of the National Hockey League are regularly held as pinups for people to fawn over. Just look at our rundown of the hottest studs of 2017 if you don’t believe us.
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Look we get it, these guys are ripped, so it’s only natural they’ll be lusted over. But why should they get all the love? After all, these walking washboard stomachs would be nothing without the big men off the ice.
Yes, we are of course talking about the coaches, the bench boss babes who are the real studs of the NHL.
So seeing as how everyone seems intent on objectifying the on-ice talent, we thought we’d take a moment to thirst over some of the league’s off-ice hotties, the suit-clad cuties who deserve every bit as much admiration as their players.
Yes, that’s right, we’re bringing you the NHL’s hottest coaches…
1. Randy Carlyle
Randy Carlyle has his game face ready for tonight. #NHLDraft pic.twitter.com/O858crj5RV
— Anaheim Ducks (@AnaheimDucks) June 24, 2016
Let’s hope that nominative determinism rings true with this Ducks-coaching darling.
2. Glen Gulutzan
"We need to look after ourselves … we're not out of the woods by any stretch." – Glen Gulutzan ~ https://t.co/PUhggzfcHv pic.twitter.com/4DFNmZrbUe
— Calgary Flames (@NHLFlames) December 8, 2016
Born with a quiff that could break a thousand hearts, things have been heating up over on the Flames’ bench ever since this hottie took up coaching duties in Calgary.
3. Joel Quenneville
Looking for the perfect gift for the gentlemen in your life? Save 20% on Q's sweater today!https://t.co/8pbsvMiHHv pic.twitter.com/lPIqwc6rXp
— Chicago Blackhawks (@NHLBlackhawks) December 14, 2015
It’s all about that sumptuous ‘stache with Coach Q. After all, few men can truly pull off a good soup-strainer, but the Blackhawks boss wears his bristles better than anyone else in the league, proving that, in moustache terms anyway, size does matter.
4. John Tortorella
Torts getting angry pic.twitter.com/Zbu9RXLXSi
— Nuggets Drooling (@nuggetsdrooling) January 8, 2014
Torts is just a leather jacket and a motorcycle away from becoming the NHL’s equivalent of the teenage bad boy who everyone warned you about, but that you just couldn’t keep away from when growing up. He’s not the guy you end up marrying, he’s the coach who ensures you’re always one lonely night away from stalking him on social media.
5. Ken Hitchcock
Ken Hitchcock tells you about his hat in his postgame press conference. WATCH: https://t.co/3ZceoXQ3AH #WinterClassic #stlblues pic.twitter.com/X8cEkKTue3
— St. Louis Blues (@StLouisBlues) January 2, 2017
It’s not all about the gym bod with this sexy silver fox, though keep up those bicep curls by all means Ken. No, instead our love affair with this longstanding coach began and ended with those eyes, the kind of eyes that hold all the answers, that you can get lost in, that undress you quicker than he can scrawl a power play on a portable whiteboard.
6. Alain Vigneault
OFFICIAL: #NYR Head Coach Alain Vigneault has been signed to a contract extension. pic.twitter.com/mAnOpGCiGc
— New York Rangers (@NYRangers) January 31, 2017
AV will always hold a special place in the hearts of Canucks fans after leading them to back-to-back Presidents’ Trophies, but Alain’s appeal extends far beyond the Pacific Northwest, thanks to the kind of classic good looks that would look more at home in a Hollywood film than a hockey rink.
7. John Stevens
Who is new Kings coach John Stevens? https://t.co/udg4pjC7fN pic.twitter.com/NQ3TCJpHqz
— The Press-Enterprise (@PEcom_news) April 24, 2017
Beautiful eyes? Check. Captivating smile? Check. Rugged physique, Canadian passport, and cheekbones so sharp they could cut a cantaloupe at 15 paces? Check, check, and er, check.
8. Mike Babcock
Coach shares his pre-game thoughts and updates: https://t.co/JQA3iFXgE0 #TMLtalk pic.twitter.com/Yiab9tD4W2
— Toronto Maple Leafs (@MapleLeafs) March 3, 2016
With a face that looks like it was hewn out of a slab of solid marble, it’s fair to say that we’d bab his etc etc etc.