Honesty is the best policy...?

Dec 19 2017, 1:36 pm

As I discussed and explored the idea of one-night stands in “Where is my loose moose or goose?”, I feel that I can slowly trinkle my way into something that isn’t usually associated, yet is sometimes heard of with one-night stands. It’s a little thing we naturally experience every 30 seconds-3 minutes depending on how sober or drunk we are. They’re called…wait for it…


As you know, we can feel angry, sad, happy, bloated, creepy, awkward, constipated, bad ass, snappy, snazzy, frustrated, sexy, inappropriately aroused in a public place, quiet, loud, fat, skinny, etc. We can feel feelings towards someone, an experience, or perhaps an inanimate object. Feelings are created through perception of the physical world and varies depending on an individual’s tendency to handle a situation, how a situation relates to an indiviual’s past experiences, as well as a number of other factors. Feelings are a conscious subjective experience of emotion.

I think feeling is absolutely wonderful. What is so wonderful about feeling is when you recognize that you create your feelings, and you have the ability to become aware of why you’re feeling the feeling. Not only do you learn so much more about yourself, but you also can develop the ability to control those feelings. This may prevent you from falling into a state of utter panic while sitting on a park bench in Kits, burning pictures of your ex while eating a 1 litre tub of ice cream from Superstore.

Sometimes, maybe even majority of the time, the feelings that we feel are ridiculously confusing and we aren’t always able to recognize why we’re feeling that way. We have this uncomfortableness in our stomachs, chest, throats and in other various parts of our body. All we want to do is squish the feelings away with a glass of scotch, wine, an intense workout at the gym, an angry/feel sorry for me Facebook status or tweet, frantic mass texts, or another 1 litre tub of ice cream from Superstore.

What if we were honest about how we feel instead of squishing them into the ground?

On one side we have the squishing. For example. You’ve known someone for almost 6 years, and you and this person have had an on and off again “relationship” over the course of these almost 6 years. You keep in touch and maintain consistent communication, even though your lives have taken you both in different directions. Then, out of nowhere, the accumulation of those almost 6 years of feelings that were being squished, rapidly seep out of your soul, into your heart, and all over your non fat latte. You realize that you have always had feelings for this person, yet the timing isn’t appropriate to spill the beans. So what do you do? Do you squish those feelings for another 6 years because if you word vomit all over this person’s face, he/she may not speak to you for the next 2 months? Or do you dash to the other side, ignore the inappropriate timing, and still word vomit on their face? However, in this case, you can chose to continue to go about your life knowing that you were honest, and managed to act on something incredibly frightening, courageous and slightly over dramatic. You can run with the experience which will help build you into a stronger person. Or…you can head over to Superstore and purchase that 1 litre tub of ice cream.

What if you develop feelings for someone who is in a serious relationship? Do you squish the feelings or do you tell them how you feel?

Coming from recent experience, I HIGHLY recommend in a situation where you feel like you need to be honest about your feelings towards someone, whether it is a relationship or friendship, I encourage you to be honest in such a way that you won’t punch them in the throat with your words and scare the living shit out of them. Be aware of why (and where…location is surprisingly key) you’re being honest.  Being honest in a loving, less hostile and integrous way may build your relationship with that person and bring you closer. Or it may not. Whatever the outcome may be, I think it is important to be honest with the people in your life. This applies to anyone or any situation. If you think someone is attractive, tell them they are attractive. If you think someone should probably not wear pink because they have red hair, then tell them they would look nice in a blue shirt…all the time. If you don’t like when your roommate doesn’t wash the dishes, then tell him/her to wash the dishes. If you can’t stand people who wear jeans with no pockets, suggest jeans with pockets. There is a thing of being too honest and not honest enough, and I know that there is a happy medium somewhere in between all of that mumble jumble. I have yet to find a consistent happy medium, because I continue to word vomit daily.

If you chose to find that happy medium along with me, you may be one contributing to a more joyful, less toxic world. Think about it. If we were to all just be honest about how we feel, it would a) Save a lot of time, energy, bitching, complaining, hating, gossiping, whining, crying, sighing, and less annoying Facebook status’ and Tweets and b) prevent people from overdosing on Superstore ice cream.

What do you think? How much is too much when it comes to honesty? When should we squish the feelings? What is better, squishing the feelings or being honest with yourself and other people?

…Excuse me. I need to go word vomit now.




DH Vancouver StaffDH Vancouver Staff

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