Canucks SixPack: Jets vs Canucks yadda yadda yadda... 5-2 Jets

Dec 19 2017, 8:45 pm

As the clock on the Canucks season runs out, all you can really do is watch and see where they end up in the draft, and hope the young kids show you something for next year.

Yes, Coach Willie has to say stuff like this. It probably would have been phrased better if he said he wants his team to play like they’re trying to make the playoffs every night, but 85% of what’s said in PR situations is bunk anyhow, so don’t read too much into it. The team could get blown out 17-0 and Coach Willie would invariably have something cliched and processed to tell the media after the game.

“17-0, yeah, not our best result, but I think it showed real conviction that we buckled down and didn’t let them get to 20.”

As for the game tonight, it was pretty much all Winnipeg right out of the gates. The shots were close (29 for the Jets, 28 for the Canucks) but the dangerous scoring chances belonged to Winnipeg. At one point Horvat made eye contact with Jets goalie Michael Hutchinson, which was about the most threatening thing the Canucks did for the majority of the game.

The Jets of course rolled on to a 5-2 win, and the draft position watch continued.

That being said, there were a few things that went down in the game tonight, so if you can stomach reading about low event hockey, read onward!

Wait, I should sell that better. Read onward for the best recap you’ve ever read, full of topless Jeff Goldblum and a free bagel!*

*Cream cheese costs extra



1. 2-for-1 Deal on injuries

Much like bad penalties and pre-game wardrobe choices, injuries don’t really matter a ton for the Canucks at this point.

For the record, Granlund left the game with the well known super virus “Upper Body-itis”, with Sbisa following suit and falling prey to “Upper Body-Itis” as well. Concern now is that it can be spread through water bottles.

While Granlund’s injury origin story was harder to figure out, Sbisa’s was pretty obvious. Adam Lowry crunched him into the boards and Sbisa immediately lost the use of his left arm. Looked like a shoulder injury, smelt like a shoulder injury, tasted like a shoulder injury.

Unless of course wearing a sling on your arm is what the cool kids are doing these days.

Still, if ever there was a time to dress a giant Russian bear defenceman disguised as a human…

2. Bare Hands

Markstrom started the game strong before, before bad luck eventually beat him down into submission. Tipped goals were the soup du jour, as the Jets spared no expense in the 5-2 beating.

Markstrom did have his moments though.


That’s just a nice save right there. That’s the kind of glove save you can set your watch to. (I have no idea what that means)


Ben Hutton, having himself a bit of a Bang Bang Bart moment, was bailed out by Markstrom as he made a breakaway save you could set your watch to.


The the weird bounces started. At one point Markstrom glared angrily at people. A couple in the front row through their popcorn on the ground in disgust. It was a low point for us all.


But then Markstrom made a god damn save with his bare hand, and all was well in the world.

Look, in a season devoid of sunshine and happiness, moments like these tend to stand out. Like when a young kid has a big game, it gives you hope for the future.

Sure, it’s not smart to envision Markstrom ditching his glove and becoming the first “Glove Free” goalie in the league (he says it feels better to play without it on), but just watching him protect his hand then snake out and dive on a puck in a mean nothing game?

That’s the sort of thing you can set your watch….ok let’s just agree that it’s moments like that that remind us why we’re sports fans.

3. Marko Dano

We may never know the full truth of if Dano was actually offered to the Canucks in a Hamhuis deal, but since this is Vancouver, whispered rumors become legalized facts after one week.

So if we play along with that, and let’s say it’s true (and it could be), then tonight was a sad night for the “We like getting things for our expiring contracts” group.

Dano, who thrashed the Canucks with three points when he was a member of the Blue Jackets, put up three points tonight as well.

Even better? One of his goals was in a direct battle with Dan Hamhuis, giving you easy access to fun imagery to get sad over and have a bit of a cry if Hamhuis doesn’t return next season.


Dano showed off some slick hand eye co-ordination and served up many easy jokes about how Canucks management probably found Dano “too goalish” and “too focused on scoring”.

Dano also had +11 Corsi at evens on the night, which matched up nicely with Dan Hamhuis’ -11 Corsi on the night.

4. Send in the Bear

Again, with Sbisa out, it’s time to bring in Tryamkin and see what he’s made of.

Some people are worried about over hyping Tryamkin, and to be fair, there is a lot of buzz surrounding his first game.

Realistically I think most fans just want the rest of the season to be all about the young guys, so putting in Tryamkin fits nicely into that strategy. People want to see what the big fella is all about, and who can blame them? Again, this is a season low on highlights, so you kind of have to take what you can get, and a guy who essentially says don’t call him Chara, because he wants to be better than him? That’s something you want to see.

Of course, Tryamkin could come out and completely fall on his head and get overwhelmed by NHL competition. Then the hype will die down and the usual sadness and sarcastic anger will fill the void again. But hey, maybe Tryamkin comes in and plays slightly better than Bang Bang Bartkowski? That alone is a win right there.

5. Grenier Grind

Grenier got called up, and Gaunce got sent down, which as Ryan points out, might not have been the best timing. It’s hard enough playing back to back games, let alone four games in four days. At differing levels of competition.

It was no shocker then that Grenier didn’t have the greatest game of his life. I think many people would have enjoyed Gaunce getting a solid run of games to see how his play would progress, but Gaunce is part of that “Gillis Gang” that Benning has shown a propensity to trade away, so maybe he’s on borrowed time. Start going through Calgary Flames prospects Weisbrod really liked if you want to take a guess at what trades might go down…

In Grenier’s defence, nobody really played that well tonight, so his poor play will probably be lost in the shuffle. I’m sure Grenier would never complain about being asked to play in an NHL game, but you still have to wonder about the timing of his call up, however.

As we said, though, in a season that is already over, moves like this don’t do a ton of damage. They just make for a solid fifth point in hockey recaps.

6. Sad Hamhuis


That’s a sad Hamhuis.

That’s a sad fact.

That’s a sad truth.


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