How to Ask Someone For a Date

Dec 19 2017, 4:49 am

You spot someone from across the room. Maybe you’ve seen her around for a while and, while she’ll smile at you, you haven’t yet mustered up the courage to ask her out. That is…until today (*note: advice applicable equally to men and women).

What do you do? Let’s assume you are able to squeak out some small talk. You discuss the weather, talk about what you’re both doing there, and transition the conversation to what her interests are.

Ideally, by this point, you’ve been paying attention to the subtle nuances of the conversation; are you both connecting, laughing and having a good time? Does this feel like superficial small talk, or are you falling deeper into rapport as the conversation progresses and you are really starting to glimpse each other’s personality.

Flirting is in the mix as well.

Now, how do you pop the question to ask her out on a date?

Matt Ha, attraction coach for Man Meets Woman says:

  • First, just relax and keep your cool. Hopefully you’re dressed comfortably yet presentable.
  • Find a moment when the two of you can be alone, or at least away from nosy friends.
  • Make sure the conversation is relaxed and interesting. You’re trying to create chemistry.
  • Suggest an activity for the both of you to do together based on what you were talking about, or if you’re bold enough, ask her straight out for a date.
  • Chill and listen to their response. Don’t interrupt, then reply. If she said ‘yes’, then congrats. If you got turned down, don’t worry, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
  • Exchange contact information and don’t stay too long to wear out your welcome.
  • CALL HER on the phone to chat and/or confirm the date. Don’t make the mistake of text messaging. Only friends do that, and you don’t want to be ‘just a friend’.
  • Believe in yourself! You can do it! And don’t put your value as a person in her answer.

By Ronald Lee and Matt Ha

Man Meets Woman ~ Attraction Coaching for Men (
Happy Sexy You ~ Lifestyle and Dating Coaching for Women (

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