Raccoon escorted from major hospital in downtown Toronto for being a raccoon

With the weather outside getting colder and a canine distemper outbreak now formally declared, the raccoons of Toronto are starting to visit human-run places outside of their usual wooded and dumpster-filled back alley ranges.

One such masked critter recently strolled into the busy Toronto General Hospital, presumably enticed by the smells of cafeteria scraps and discarded unsweetened applesauce.

Some who are aware of the incident theorize (with humour) that the raccoon may have been seeking treatment for distemper — a viral disease that has recently been tearing through Toronto’s procyon community.

Knowing that raccoons are very, very smart, I like to think that the fluffy nightboi waltzed into UHN’s flagship institution to absorb its impressive history of medical advancements.

Toronto General is not only the birthplace of insulin, after all, but the site of many famous surgical achievements, including the world’s first successful double-lung transplant, Canada’s first-hand transplant and the world’s first successful triple organ transplant.

Those who were present for the raccoon’s visit suspect, based on its friendly temperament, that a case of distemper or low body temperature prompted the little one to waltz in.

A Toronto raccoon recently waltzed right into one of the city’s biggest hospitals. It was escorted outside without incident. – 📹 hey_rjay https://t.co/oiJE01G3fF #Toronto pic.twitter.com/j4C4Ax7kXp

— blogTO (@blogTO) November 21, 2022

Hospital staff confirmed to blogTO that the encounter took place last Monday when the forest creature entered the facility.

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A security guard who works at the hospital said on Reddit that “the lil guy was super friendly.”

Apparently, the raccoon came back in twice the same day before he parted for good, each time sniffing the security guard’s boot and nibbling on it “sort of like a puppy would, then keep walking.”

“I’d keep him if they were all like this, but sadly he probably has distemper, said the guard. “Eventful day to say the least.”

“Buddy came in to get treatment for distemper and the hospital turned him away? What is our society coming to???” joked one Reddit user in the comments thread. Said another: “He definitely did not self-screen upon entry. Code chartreuse.”

It’s not clear what happened to the little guy after leaving the hospital, but his multiple forays into Toronto General have sparked a conversation with more than 3,400 upvotes on Reddit.

“He heard there was a shortage of hospital workers and wanted to do his part to help,” wrote one commenter, referring to some of the latest crises to plague Ontario’s beleaguered healthcare system.

Others pointed out that the animal’s behaviour, cute as it may seem to observers, could be indicative of something that isn’t joke worthy.

“Memes aside, it’s honestly [concerning] how many raccoons are displaying signs of distemper. Remember they look cute but keep your distance and call 311 if you notice any of them having erratic behaviour,” wrote one person.

“Small mammals like that are typically nocturnal and avoid humans. They also try to travel in hidden and along fences/walls,” said another.

“If you notice a raccoon or skunk out in the middle of the day, walking kind sluggishly and not afraid of people there is a good chance it is distemper.”