Dear Portland: Rants on Reddit for the week: February 24 to 28

Feb 28 2020, 9:03 pm

It has been a real week, hasn’t it Portland.

Luckily, it’s a leap year, so we get an extra February day to enjoy our city, try to relax, and come off the steaming momentum created by some of these Dear Portland rants.

Here to help you kick-off this upcoming weekend — one that is supposed to be decidedly less sunny and dry than the rest of the week has been so far — here are the best rants from the week of February 24 to 28.

Poop Torch

In a very justifiable rant, HuckleButter is questioning why the city of Portland and their parks department doesn’t supply more garbage collection throughout the mountain of fabulous trails surrounding PDX.

Yes, it would benefit trail-runners greatly to have access to garbage or poop deposits at intervals along their path, but at least this Portlandian is doing his city justice by carrying the torch for all dog-owners.

Driving 101

This just in, drivers doing what drivers are supposed to be doing (obeying the law) then all traffic would be better across the board for everyone.

Well, that’s an obvious thing.

More important yet, Portland is chock-full of pedestrians, cyclists, motorcycles, and more, which means any time spent looking at (or holding) your phone is yet another window in which someone could get hurt. Put your phones down, or stop and check them.

Saliva Shower

Earth is on notice right now. With the quickly-spreading respiratory virus known as the Coronavirus (or COVID-19) making news every day, the CDC urges citizens to take better care to control the infection.

It may sound simple, but stay home if you’re sick. Wash your hands as often as possible, and try not to touch your mouth or eyes.

Or, at the very least, be a decent human being and cover your dang mouth when you cough, on public transit or otherwise.

People live in houses?

There are a large number of reasons why one would be excitedly flying down Halsey Street. Whether you’re gunning for a workout at the fitness center, looking for some delicious Venezuelan cuisine, or you’re leaving one of the many car shops with a fresh tune-up.

However, don’t.

Obeying the speed limit is an essential part of the “being a motorist” experience — we really shouldn’t have to tell you these things at this stage in your life — and they are designated for specific reasons. As Laplace here points out, there are many residents of Portland living along Halsey Street, and one screw-up above the speed-limit could spell serious disaster or harm.

“Hey Google, show me my week ahead.”

Dear Macklemorethecreator,




Wyatt FossettWyatt Fossett

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