A Grow guide to this regular-length weekend in Montreal

Aug 3 2018, 3:32 am

Everyone in Canada is looking forward to a nice long weekend. Everyone that is except for us, Quebec, the biggest and Frenchest of all the provinces.

Montreal inhabitants will have a regular two-day weekend, slogging our sweating bodies onto the subway and trying not to melt into a salty puddle of meat sans AC.

Other provinces get Family Day and August Long Weekend; Quebec gets shafted. Sure we get St-Jean and that extra hangover day after New Year’s, but those are stacked up close to other holidays and we could really use a break in the middle of the summer. The entire situation is a travesty, and probably some kind of discrimination.

Regardless, here are some things to do for the discerning stoner this regular-length weekend.

1. Campaign for equality

Get Quebec the midsummer long weekend it needs and deserves. Write your provincial and federal MP to make this very reasonable demand a reality. Just don’t get too stoned before you write; it might dull your outrage.

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2. Take a long weekend anyway

Seize control of your life and DIY yourself a long weekend. Use some vacation or personal days if you’ve got em, or see if you can convince someone to fill in for you at work. If you absolutely must be present at your place of employment, see if you can leave a little early or show up a little late, or just do a really half-assed job. It’s called being assertive, and it looks good on a CV (without follow-up details).

3. Stay indoors

It’s been way too hot this summer in Quebec, with reports of over 53 deaths in Montreal. This is a situation where staying inside, smoking weed, and playing video games all day is, in fact, the responsible thing to do. That doesn’t happen very often, so milk it and do that very thing. It may not be a long weekend, but two full days of guilt-free non-productivity still feel pretty damn good.

4. Make an indoor garden

No, not that kind, just regular houseplants – but clustering them in a comfy seating area creates a peaceful place to sit, especially if you don’t have a yard or balcony. Plants can clean the air and gardening while stoned is probably the most relaxing thing you can do. If you’re terrible at keeping things alive, try a pothos, a snake plant or a ZZ plant – they’re pretty much foolproof, widely available and generally inexpensive.

5. Celebrate Pride

It’s Pride Weekend here in Montreal, and it’s a scientific fact that Montreal’s pride celebration is fucking lit. So for those strong enough to brave the heat, head downtown, and party your ass off in support of your LGBTQ+ friends, family, and community!

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Emma SpearsEmma Spears

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