Sure, you’re the bride and it’s your day, but that doesn’t mean you get to call all the shots, especially as they pertain to your bridal party. The women you choose as bridesmaids are most likely your very best friends and family who you love and respect unconditionally. And, let’s be real, no bride wants to be perceived as a “bridezilla.”
Here are five things you should never ask of your bridesmaids:
1. Never ask your bridesmaids to spend a ridiculous amount of money
By now you should know your bridal party fairly well and have a pretty good idea of what they would consider an affordable amount to spend on a dress, hair styling and makeup. An alternate solution is to foot the bill yourself or to contribute half to make the expense a little more palatable. Another trend that works well for less formal affairs is to let your bridesmaids buy their own dresses that fit within your wedding colour palette and give them the option to do their own hair and makeup. This way each bridesmaid has control over their own spending and you’ll have less coordination to do overall.
2. Never ask your bridesmaids to lose or gain weight
This is a non-negotiable. You love your friends and family for who they are, so why should it be any different when it’s your wedding day? You may have your heart set on a particular dress for your bridesmaids, but if it’s not a dress that works with all their body types, move on. Or refer to #1 above and consider letting your bridal party choose their own dresses that flatter their own unique shape and that they feel comfortable in. They’ll thank you for it.
3. Never ask your bridesmaids to give you veto power over haircuts or other appearance changes
Requesting that your bridal party wear a certain colour or style of dress on your big day is one thing but asking that they not cut their hair two months before the wedding is crossing the line. Remind yourself that asks of your wedding party should be reserved only for the one day. If one of your bridesmaids’ hair now isn’t long enough to accommodate that fishtail braid, get her some extensions, easy peasy.
4. Never ask your bridesmaids for a specific stagette or bridal party
It’s not your place to tell your bridal party what kind of stagette or bridal party to plan for you. If they’re your good friends and family, chances are they’re going to plan a party that you’re going to enjoy, so trust them to do it right. And if you don’t get to go to that pole dancing class that you were hoping to, there will be other opportunities. Plan to go for a future girls night, just because.
5. Never ask your bridesmaids to speak at your wedding if they’re not comfortable
Sure it would be nice to have your maid of honour and even a few of your bridesmaids give a speech at your wedding, but if they’re really not comfortable this isn’t something you should force. Generally there should be enough family and friends that are more than happy to speak at your wedding who will probably deliver a better speech anyway.