Money a big reason for Canadians choosing the DINK lifestyle — but there's more than meets the eye
For Reha Bublani and her husband, Nitish Vaid, adopting the DINK (dual income, no kid) lifestyle was an easy choice.
“We decided a few years ago that [kids were] going to be a no for us,” the 38-year-old Montreal-based social worker told Daily Hive, sharing that they came to that conclusion quite organically.
“It was very easy,” she explained, noting that choosing the DINK lifestyle was also driven by her job working in social services with young children who were victims of violence and abuse.
Bublani explained that her career helped her realize that if she wanted children, she had other options.
“I was very clear that if I have a kid, it would be an adopted kid,” she said.
As for her partner, Bublani describes him as a “minimalist” who is conscious of humans’ impact on the planet.
Reha Bublani and her husband, Nitish Vaid, with their dog (Supplied)
“[He believes] with the world’s current situation with climate change and wars happening, we are not in a space where we need [more] humans in the world,” she said.
“We got married and just organically came to a place where we realized where we wanted to invest our energy.”
Bublani explained that the couple feels content with life because of their bond, their chosen career paths, and their third family member – their beloved pet dog.
“We have a dog, and we hope to have more animals. Just raising the puppy we have has given us so much joy and fulfillment,” Bublani said.
“There are different places where we derive a sense of joy, identity, and contentment, but the biggest one would be how we have invested ourselves in each other.”
The DINK lifestyle: then and now
Bublani and Vaid are part of a growing community of DINKs worldwide.
The catchy acronym is believed to have first been used in mainstream media in a 1987 Los Angeles Times article.
At the time, the term “DINK” was making its way into the North American lexicon, and it led to some feeling uncomfortable.
“For those who are sick of the yuppie-buppie-guppie method of branding various socioeconomic groups, the debut of DINK is being greeted with audible gasps of horror,” LA Times reported.
But today, the tides have turned.
DINK couples take pride in living out their choices, and they’re not afraid to showcase the perks of their lifestyle either.
Laura Carroll, a US-based author who has extensively studied the child-free lifestyle, told Daily Hive that the shift in the way society views DINKs is largely thanks to the digital world.
“You have more people getting exposed to the choice and being educated about the choice and the lifestyle and people who make it,” she said.
“It’s been great for childfree people to build community, too — the exposure, education, and people learning about the choices out there.”
On social media platforms like TikTok or Instagram, a quick search of “DINKS” will pull up thousands of videos of younger and older couples sharing details about their child-free life.
@keslynhart in our duel income no kids era 💅✈️ #duelincomenokids #dinks ♬ original sound – keslyn hart
@bellerodolfo First vlog with the new cam!! Wished this was longer but I started getting sick that day, I was on energy saving mode haha #dink #doubleincomenokidsqueer #doubleincomenokids ♬ original sound – bellerodolfo on IG
They can wake up when they want and enjoy a vacation; some, like Bublani, are even known as DINKWADS (dual income, no kids, with a dog).
@lincandcanyon puppies > kids 🙃 #gaycoupleedition #dinkwad #doubleincomenokids ♬ im good – kpopvrycs
Whatever path DINKs are choosing, one thing is clear: they are satisfied with their deliberate choices.
Affordability and the DINK lifestyle
According to Statistics Canada’s latest estimates from the Canadian Income Survey, there were 1,634,000 dual-income “non-elderly” couples (married and common-law couples, including LGBTQ couples under 65) without children in the country in 2021 (excluding the territories).
As the high cost of living continues to be a concern for many nationwide, the DINK life can be considered a more affordable lifestyle choice for Canadian couples.
An October 2023 report from Statistics Canada highlights that raising kids isn’t cheap.
Canadians pay an average of $360,000 to raise their child from birth to age 17. For parents planning on financially supporting their children through postsecondary education until age 22, that amount increases by 29%.
Another Statistics Canada report notes that the high cost of living impacts the country’s fertility rate, highlighting that young adults are choosing not to have children compared to their older counterparts.
Researchers studied the impact of socioeconomic obstacles on Canadians aged 15 to 29. In 2022, young Canadians accounted for 19% (7.3 million) of the country’s population.
It was observed that those in that age demographic have “faced disproportionate challenges to their quality of life compared with other age groups” and are “less satisfied and less hopeful about their future.”
In 2022, over one-third (38%) of adults in this age group didn’t think they could afford to have kids in the next three years, and 32% didn’t think they would have access to housing to start a family.
For couples trying to start a family via fertility treatments, the process comes with a hefty price tag before it even begins.
The average price of IVF treatment in Canada can range between $10,000 and $15,000 per cycle. Couples looking for surrogacy options are likely to spend over $80,000 on the process.
While there isn’t specific Canadian data on LGBTQ couples and their desire to have children, a 2019 survey conducted by the US-based organization Family Equality found that 45 to 53% of LGBTQ people between the ages of 18 and 35 planned to become parents for the first time or add another child to their family.
However, the survey found that 45% of LGBTQ respondents said that access to reproduction technology to help start their family was too expensive.
When they were trying to decide whether to expand their family, money was on the minds of 43-year-old John Robinson and his wife, Rita.
The crab fisherman told Daily Hive that he and Rita never really wanted kids, but they mulled over the decision for quite some time.
John Robinson and his partner, Rita. (Supplied)
Robinson also had to consider his health.
“I had cancer when I was younger,” he shared. “Because of my treatments, they basically sterilized me.”
The couple was thinking about adopting a child; however, upon taking a closer look at their finances, they realized that they couldn’t afford to live in Ontario anymore, let alone be parents. That’s when they decided to move to Nova Scotia.
“We packed up and moved out east, but we couldn’t just pack up and move with kids, right?” he added.
The simple act of getting up to move to another province is something Robinson feels he couldn’t do so easily with a child.
“My wife and I can go anywhere and do what we want. We don’t have to consider the third, fourth, or fifth person’s interests when making decisions. We have more financial freedom,” he said.
Robinson admits that living the DINK life doesn’t mean he and his wife are “rolling in money” but “with some sacrifices,” they’ve made enough to support themselves and “carry on comfortably.”
Flexible DINK-ing
While the current financial climate has some Canadian couples not wanting kids altogether, others are choosing to wait longer before starting their families.
For 27-year-old Pranav Nandgaonkar and his wife, Shailaja Gawas, the financial upside of being DINKs is one of the main reasons they’ve currently chosen not to have children.
He and Gawas both work in cybersecurity and immigrated to Canada shortly after marrying in 2021, settling in Ottawa.
Pranav Nandgaonkar and his wife, Shailaja Gawas, are content with the DINK life for now (Supplied)
While the young couple hasn’t ruled out the possibility of having children in the future, it’s currently their best financial choice.
“We’ve seen our friends who are couples before they had kids and while they have kids. And we see the difference in expenses,” Nandgaonkar said.
“Even if they have a single child or two, the household income gets divided, and having kids is not the easiest job.”
Nandgaonkar explained that he and his wife are at a place where they feel content about not having kids, but they also are leaning towards growing their family in the future.
But right now, they’re simply enjoying their time together and do not have to worry about the additional financial responsibilities associated with children.
Nandgaonkar said that he and his wife are in a phase where they want to enjoy nonessential purchases – like going on trips or nights out.
“We can go ahead and make purchases because we are DINKs, and we don’t have to worry about anyone else other than the both of us,” he said.
Parenthood doesn’t mean fulfillment for everyone
Looking back at his decision, Robinson feels that most people are “sold a narrative” about fulfillment in life that pushes them to have kids.
“It’s just a traditional view of things,” he said. “We’re not doing people justice by selling them that, and I think you can have a happy, fulfilling life in many different ways. People are compelled to pursue one route because everybody does that.”
That “one route” leading to parenthood is something Carroll refers to in her work as “pronatalism.”
She told Daily Hive that this belief has been ingrained in our “social hardware” for generations, leading people to believe that humans are biologically wired to have and want children.
“It’s a default because there’s the belief that there are ways to have fulfillment and meaning in life, and the true way is to have your own children and become parents.”
The author further explained that the push for pronatalism often leads people to believe they should become parents without considering why they’re making that decision.
She encourages folks to question these established norms and beliefs.
“That’s all they are — beliefs. What we should be doing is what feels right for us.”
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