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Vancouver's Trump Tower is getting hilarious reviews on Google

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Jenni Sheppard Jan 17, 2017 3:34 am 17,150

With the election of Donald Trump as US President, it’s been hard to know whether to laugh or cry lately. Well, as always, Google has the answer.

Indeed, if you check out the 1-star Google reviews being left for Trump International Hotel & Tower Vancouver lately, you’ll see laughter really is the best medicine.

Comments rating the as-yet unopened luxury tower include relatively harmless mocking of Trump’s apparent total arrogance…

“Look, nobody knows hotels like me, nobody. I build fantastic hotels. The best. Because I know people. All sorts of people. And they’re terrific. The best,” writes Cam Gray.

“And that’s why NATO is obsolete, because they don’t know hotels like I do. Let’s make hotels great again. Like me.”

…parodies of Trump’s infamous comments on “respect”…

“I have a tremendous amount of respect for hotels. Nobody has more respect for hotels than I do, believe me. But this hotel is pathetic,” writes Pat Jenkins.

…inevitable accusations of fakery and sadness…

“FAKE HOTEL. Sad. Just sad. Pathetic,” writes Lindsey Strang.

…and references to his tiny…hands.

“The sheets had spray tan all over them, and extra small condoms were part of the hotels welcoming package,” writes Rachel Bruce. “Guess they have to abide by the Owner’s standards.”

Of course, we should note, the Trump International Hotel & Tower Vancouver is not owned by Trump or anyone in his family. They just sold the name to the developers.

The Trump International Hotel & Tower Vancouver (The Holborn Group)

The Trump International Hotel & Tower Vancouver (The Holborn Group)

We digress. Back to the hilarity – and the US presidential election campaign.

“Wouldn’t rent me a room because I am apparently a ‘nasty woman,'” writes Maxine Lynch.

“I actually made a reservation at another much more reputable hotel, but to my dismay they sent me to this dump,” writes Richard Dagenais. “Never let the electoral college handle your travel.”

No one claims to have been “grabbed by the pussy” – but there are some seriously weird reviews alluding to the unproven allegations about Trump’s activities in Russia.

“Maids came as a pair, only spoke Russian, and preceded [sic] to take off their clothes when they entered the bedroom,” writes Rich Fraser. “I left and when I came back the sheets were wet.”

We would include more of those by the way, but they are pretty gross. Still we urge you to follow the stream – pure gold!

See also

Amid the criticism, there is one lone voice, standing up for the luxurious tower, with a solid 5-star review.

“It was AMAZING! I had a long flight from Canada, and all I wanted was a shower,” writes Phonse Musik. “I turn on the water and LIBERAL TEARS flowed out of the golden faucet! At that very moment, I transcended.”

Quite.

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Jenni Sheppard
Jenni is a former Senior Staff Writer at Daily Hive. Happy Vancouverite. Traveller, snowboarder, foodie, film fan, feminist, geek, cheesemaker, curler.

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