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Real Estate, Vancouverites, Funny

The 11 types of landlord you'll pay rent to in Vancouver

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Sam Schonewille Feb 17, 2017 3:49 am 12,209

In this market renters can’t afford to be picky.

Landlords have the power to choose the “perfect” tenants, but unfortunately for renters you seldom have enough options to find a landlord that jams with you.

So for all you tenants out there, here’s a list of some of the types of landlords that you’re probably paying rent to in Vancouver. 

The snooper

Snooping / Shutterstock

So you’ve moved in and everything’s going well. But after a few weeks you begin to notice some things. Maybe your landlord spends an unusual amount of time in the backyard, or maybe you find objects by your doorway slightly askew. Maybe you went away for the weekend only to return to your landlord subtly reminding you that you can’t store objects close to the water heater. Why are they bringing this up now? And just how do they know that’s where you keep your toilet paper?

The mystery owner

This type of landlord is all too common in Vancouver. You’ve probably dealt exclusively with an agency and may not even know your landlord’s name. Nonetheless you continue to transfer money month after month to some mysterious person who profits from the Vancouver housing crisis.

The overly friendly

Some landlords like to rent out their home because it seems like a great way to meet new people. They probably chose you to be their tenants because you seemed to make the cut as a possible amigo. Now your landlord could be your new bestie and you get to live in their super chill place. But what if that was your landlord’s plan, but not yours. How do you respond when you get invited to hang out? A bit awkward right?

The young family

Image: Father son / Shutterstock

You live in their basement suite, and are constantly wondering how they could even afford a house this big? Their kids go to bed at 8 pm and are constantly the parents’ scapegoats for why you need to be quiet, not have people over, or do anything else that might be considered fun.

The ones who completely ignore your needs

Oh your dishwasher’s broken? Sucks to be you! This type of landlord doesn’t really care about their tenant until rent stops being paid. If your dishwasher breaks it was just nice they provided one before, right? If your laundry is terrible, isn’t it nice your unit has a washing machine? They think they’re always doing you a favour, but really they’re just being dicks.

The security couple

They’re probably on the neighbourhood watch – and email, or more likely phone you, with weekly security updates. It’s possible they requested you leave wooden dowels on all of your windows so no one can break in – even though you live on the 20th floor of a high rise. You never know what thieves could be up to nowadays, they have all day to think of ways to climb giant glass buildings.

The loud ones

If you’re in a basement suite, you were probably deceived when you moved in with classic adages like “the unit is properly soundproofed” and “you can’t hear anything from upstairs, we’ve never had any complaints.” So you move in, and on day one you learn you can hear your landlord snoring, talking, and the full blown intimacy of their bathroom habits.

Does that mean they can hear everything you do too? #awkward.

The passive aggressive texters

backpack

Josh Felise/Unsplash

Great in person, total dicks via text. It’s important to make the following distinction:

Either…

Your landlord is a big wuss, and is scared to confront you in person, so chooses to accost you for various behaviours strictly via text.

Or…

Your landlord is probably in their late 40s, has impeccable grammar but doesn’t understand that too much punctuation comes across terribly wrong in text messages.

You: “Hey 🙂 would you mind fixing our bathroom sink, it has a bit of a leak?
Your landlord: “Not at all. I’m not a busy person.”

The nagging old lady

You have a page-long set of instructions on how to manage your trash, and what products you can use to clean your bathroom sink. You’ve probably also been told not to drill holes in the walls, and to make sure to sweep the balcony at least once a week so your plants don’t discolour the floor. Basically she wants to micromanage everything you do and will nag until it all gets done. Remember she doesn’t live there, you do.

The landlady who’s always in pyjamas

Of all landlords this has to be the most awkward. Does she even have a job? How can she spend the entire, day, week, or month in pyjamas? Your first red flag was when you initially viewed the suite, and she answered the door in PJ’s- maybe she forgot you had scheduled a viewing- nope that’s just how she lives her life.

The perfect landlords

LOL, not in Vancouver!!!

It’s way too easy to find a new tenant, so landlords don’t have to put in as much effort to keep you happy. Let’s face it, since rent is getting exponentially more expensive, they could probably rent your place to someone else for a lot more money anyway.


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Sam Schonewille
Hiker, runner, and amateur climber following the call to the great outdoors. You can follow Samantha’s adventures on Instagram @outdorphins.

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