So long summer…or should that be good riddance?
After all, while most of Vancouver is mourning the passing of the sun soaking the city has received in recent months, I for one am celebrating the passing of the sunny days with a solid fist pump and a bowl full of steamy hot soup.
You see, despite what you may think, summer is actually a little bit rubbish. Sure, advertisers might tell you it’s the best time of year, your friends might swan around with smiles permanently plastered on their faces, and the city might seem alive with possibilities.
But they’re all lying to themselves – they just don’t know it yet.
In reality, deep, deep down, beyond our socially accepted love affair with summer, we’re all just secretly waiting for the mercury to plummet and the leaves to fall, so we can get on with enjoying our lives.
Don’t believe me?
Here are just a few of the reasons why I’m delighted to see the back of stupid old summer in Vancouver, and why you should be too.
Do you know what’s great? Duvets. Do you know what isn’t? Waking up in a pool of your own sweat after a sporadic night sleeping in the condo equivalent of a sauna.
Unless you’re one of the lucky few to live in an air-conditioned apartment, the chances are your summer is filled with sleepless nights spent restlessly tossing and turning in the wafer thin sheet you’re using for cover.
Sure, you tell yourself it’s okay, the icky, sticky sweat-soaked sheets and endless showers are a small price to pay for sun-filled days you get to enjoy. But are they? Really? Wouldn’t it be better to actually enjoy going to bed and look forward to getting some, y’know, sleep.
At the end of the day, there’s a reason why the duvet is one of our greatest inventions. And it’s not because we all secretly enjoy stripping off to our underwear and curling up next to a cheap drugstore fan for some smidgen of comfort.
Did you know the average Vancouverite only uses 13.2% of their entire wardrobe during summer? Okay, I completely made that statistic up, but given the lack of fashion exhibited in the city when the sun comes out, it’s entirely believable isn’t it?
You see there are only so many clothes you can actually take off, and in an effort to stay cool we end up no longer looking it. The inevitable consequence is a seemingly never-ending procession of tank tops, shorts, and flip flops; a cookie cutter collection of skin cooling couture.
That’s all well and good if you have the kind of well-toned body to flaunt some flesh. But if, like me, you boast the physique of a Home Alone-era Macaulay Culkin, then you’re left to either melt or constantly rotate the same short/t-shirt combo for months on end.
The only thing worse than a summer’s day? A summer’s day when you’re stuck in the office.
Nothing breeds FOMO quite like sitting in an air-conditioned, fluorescent-lit office while you stare out of the window at a summer’s day.
Contrast that with the rest of the year where the familiarly drab weather makes it altogether easier to drag yourself into the day job, and you can see why I’m particularly excited to bid farewell to summer!
On a similar note, one of my biggest issues with the sunshine is that it inherently leaves you feeling guilty if you’re not out making the most of it.
A hike? A quick paddleboard? A day spent doing yoga on the beach while eating freshly barbecued food? These are all appropriate ways to spend a sunny day in Vancouver.
But tell someone you chose to spend your summer’s day shut indoors eating Cheetos and watching Netflix, and they’ll look at you with a sense of horror and pity.
There’s an inherent sense of pressure that comes with summer, an expectation that you should “make the most of the weather while you can” and spend every second of every day doing something.
But here’s the thing; sometimes we all just want to do nothing. And that’s so much more enjoyable when you’re not wracked with a constant sense of guilt that you should be outside enjoying the weather.
Finally we can expand our diets to include something other than salad and food that’s been grilled over an open flame.
Oh, and while we’re at it, we can put the picnic blankets away and instead eat our food how it was meant to be eaten – with actual plates and cutlery rather than shovelling it out of Tupperware containers while we attempt to shoo away some form of flying thingamajig.
From bees and wasps to fruit flies and the army of moths that make their way into our apartments through the small window we’ve left permanently ajar to give us some sense of ventilation…
The end of summer gives us an opportunity to hermetically seal our homes, instead of sharing them with some of Mother Nature’s most annoying creations in an impromptu insect exhibit.
Between all those hiking posts, impossibly staged sunset shots, and beach-body-centric photo shoots; social media is all but unbearable over the summer months.
Thankfully, as the mercury starts to plummet, people go back to using their accounts for what they were designed for…sharing cat videos and ranting about how much they hate their lives.