The Royal Wedding: A watching guide for Canadians

Apr 25 2018, 2:45 am

It’s only fair that we have wedding fever — the last royal wedding was seven years ago, when Kate Middleton and Will got hitched waayyy back in 2011.

It’s a huge milestone for a modernizing monarchy (sadly, in 2018 this is still as huge milestone), who will welcome a half-African American actress into the family.

As the Suits-star-turned-duchess prepares for a lifetime of ribbon-cutting and waving at orphans, it’s time for you to whip out your best (read: worst) British accent in honour of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle saying their royal I-do.

Details

When: Saturday, May 19, 2018.

Where: Technically speaking, the royal wedding will take place at St George’s Chapel at Windsor Castle, England at 12 pm (GMT). However, Canadians will have to rise and shine (7 am EST) to catch the nuptials.

CBS will be broadcasting live from 4 am and NBC slightly later at 4.30 am (EST) from “an exclusive vantage point overlooking Windsor Castle.”

Invitation only

Royal weddings don’t happen every day, so if you’re planning a viewing party, we think it’s probably cause for an invitation. We’re not suggesting you hand-press the invites using a machine from the 1930s called Maude as the Windsors did but the very least you could do is open up Photoshop for the occasion.

Order of the day

The couple will tie the knot at 12 pm (7 am EST) and then head on a two-mile carriage procession at 1 pm (8 am EST), culminating in a reception for 200 hosted by the Queen at St. George’s Hall.

The guest list

Given her former celebrity status, there’s plenty of speculation about who Meghan’s bridesmaids will be. A strong contender is Jessica Mulroney, Canadian stylist and bestie to the princess-to-be. Serena Williams and Priyanka Chopra have also been mentioned.

It’s unclear if all the Spice Girls will be in attendance – Mel B hinted that the girl group would be performing but Mel C later debunked this. Victoria Beckham confirmed she would be attending the royal wedding on The Late Late Show With James Corden.

Elton John is said to be attending (he sang Candle in the Wind at Diana’s funeral).

There will be no political leaders since Harry is not a direct heir to the throne — which puts rest to rumours his pal Barack would be in attendance. But there will be 250 members of the British Armed Forces, a nod to Harry’s time in the army.

A number of inspiring citizens and charitable ambassadors will be selected to watch the wedding — albeit from outside the chapel. Well, you can’t just invite any old riff-raff, can you?

Notably absent is Meghan’s half-sister and half-brother Thomas Jr., who lashed out in the press after he was snubbed.  

Dress code

Meghan will be following in the footsteps of her soon-to-be sister-in-law, wearing not one but two wedding dresses on the big day. According to the Daily Express, the first more “traditional and elegant” dress will be worn for the ceremony, then the bride will change into a more glam number for the evening (e.g. PAR-TAY time).

The exact details of Meghan’s dress have been kept very hush-hush, but naturally wedding guests have been given a strict dress code to follow. The invitation reads: “Dress: Uniform. Morning coat or lounge suit, day dress with hat.”

While sofa-dwelling viewers might not feel the need to don a top hat and tails, the must-have accessory for the occasion is a fascinator. The dainty headwear is generally attached to hair with inbuilt grips or comes attached to a headband but either way, it’s guaranteed to class things up.

Bonus: you can absolutely pair it with your pyjamas.

What to drink

Do you really need to ask? Tea is the first port of call, served from your best china, obvs.

Oh, and don’t forget to extend that pinky finger, darling.  

But let’s make no mistake, Brits love a proper drink, and none more so than Harry’s nana. We bet on the crown jewels she could drink us under the table, given her intensive training — the 5’3″ nonagenarian and monarch of more than six decades puts away FOUR libations a day.

We suggest you channel your inner Liz and use her roster of drinks as a guideline for the day; gin and Dubonnet with a slice of lemon and plenty of ice to start; a glass of wine; a dry gin martini; and by the time you’re doing the chicken dance, it’s time to round things off with a glass of champers.

YASSSS QUEEN.

What to eat

Cakes, sandwiches and delicate finger bites are as good a place as any to start for an event this fancy. But if you want to feel like royalty, you can follow the recipe for this Lemon and Elderflower cake like the official confectionary that will be baked by Claire Ptak, chef of Violet Bakery.

Classy AF.

Katie BridgesKatie Bridges

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