I’m a 27 year old woman who has grown up in the Lower Mainland. Aside from Vancouver, I’ve lived in the US, France, Mexico, and Australia and I have never been on more than one date with a guy from Vancouver.
Don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of women who have gone on multiple dates with men in this city, but the point is that the article that women in Vancouver are the pickiest in Canada, and the responses to the post on Vancity Buzz are insulting, especially those who have a preconceived notion that all women in Vancouver expect a man to pay for a date or that Vancouver women “have it coming.” To you guys who believe that: screw you. Maybe you’re picking the wrong women, because I have yet to have a man pay for an entire date for me or go out with a guy who makes $80K+ per year. Oh wait, I don’t have any interest in dating that guy so maybe that’s why I don’t have those expectations.
I’m not trying to blame this whole thing on men, but the fact is, our city has a bit of a complex and a reputation for being very difficult to date in. I put up online profiles and get responses from men who aren’t even living in Canada (even though my profile strictly says I want to date someone within proximity), or I will message a guy who says he wants to meet me, but never receive a response back. To say that only women don’t respond is absolute folly and biased. I also don’t believe it is unreasonable to ask that a guy read my profile before he writes me a message. You can say “Hi” to anyone, but why did you decide to say hi to me beyond my profile picture? I don’t want to have a meaningless conversation and just get hit on. If you took the time to read my profile, you would see that I’m not looking for just a hook up.
And that’s only online! Don’t even get me started with the BS of interacting with men in real life! I would be shocked if I were the only woman who actually found herself flirting with men only to have them blatantly blow me off when I finally make a move. I mean, how many months of interactions do we have to have before you balls up and ask me out? Oh wait…you won’t. We get so caught up in image and our cliquey circles here we forget to take a look around and make room for new people who cross our paths.
Are women in Vancouver the pickiest in Canada? I would only argue because we have some of the pickiest men … in the world and in the end we judge each other far too quickly. Stop blaming the opposite sex and start taking responsibility. Chat to people you wouldn’t normally chat to and for put yourself out there! A lot of us are constantly putting ourselves out only to end up interacting with a turtle! It’s ridiculous.
Submitted by Aliyah Jessa, BA Political Science at University of British Columbia.