Craigslist is home to a lot of creative ads to sell some fine items. So, if you’re in the market for a space-travelling Norco cruiser and live in the Vancouver area, this is the bike for you.
See other funny and not-so-funny craigslist Vancouver ads:
On offer is my unparalleled Vintage Norco cruiser bike. The technical specifications that make this fine machine capable of space travel and underwater exploration are lost on the majority of you. Therefore, I won’t bore you with details of solar wind sail deployment or workings of ballast tanks for hydrostatic submersion. Just know that Sir Richard Branson, James Cameron, and Kim Jong Un have inquired about the price and availability for their various adventures. If it is suitable for them it will be more than adequate for your last minute dash to the classroom or general fraternizing on the seawall. Speaking of which, should your meanderings include a friend they can ride on the non load-bearing, in no way structurally sound parcel shelf/rat trap (Richard was particularly interested in this option, something about selling commuter rides?).
The bike is a proper sit up and beg, which is appropriate as you will be begging me to bestow this fantastic piece of technological innovation upon you. Assuming you be deemed worthy of this stunning means of conveyance you will be afforded buttery smooth pedaling modulated by all five of the working gears. The aft cassette packaging is tight and concise leading to a well-parcelled rear end. On the subject of rear ends: Have you seen the plush quilting on the seat? You will enjoy comfort comparable to that of a cherub being whisked around on a pillow of honey. Sumptuously divine.
At this point you are probably most concerned about the safety features on offer, the bike is after all capable of an enormous rates of knots. Luckily for you there are working(ish) breaks and pedal reflectors making this impenetrable fortress of desire impervious to the dangers the common cyclist would otherwise face. But you are not a common cyclist, and this is not a common bike. As such, I will include a lock comprised of cartugminim (carbon, tungsten, and aluminum) composites to keep your Chariot of Ecstasy out of the hands of jealous bearded men.
Now, on to business: as noted above I have had high profile interested and fully expect a bidding war to erupt. In the spirit of cooperation and humanitarianism I will allow this fantastic bike to leave my possession on the promise it is given a good home, not used to destroy your arch enemy (Sorry Kim, I am not selling to you) and have a $140 (OBO). Good home condition non negotiable. For further details I can be reached at 604-368-8162, ask for Michael.
The bike was recently serviced and is fully operational should you chose to use it only as a bike. Geographically speaking it is currently moored up in a top secret bunker in downtown Vancouver in the general vicinity of two viaducts and Beatty Street.
If you’re interested in the space traveling bike, check out the original ad.