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Online relationship status: how public should you go?

DH Vancouver Staff Oct 16, 2013 8:08 am

Nowadays it’s very easy to divulge personal information online without really thinking about it. Personality quizzes, online profiles and social media allow us to display our lives to complete strangers easily, and it’s often even expected as the ‘done’ thing.

But what about when your personal details coincide with someone else’s? Welcome to the problem of the public relationship status.

It’s complicated

Deciding whether or not to check the ‘in a relationship’ box on social media has bigger implications than it might seem. Whether we like it or not, once you’ve updated your Facebook profile with your newfound love, your relationship now has an official stamp.

All of your friends will immediately be alerted to the change and big photos of you and your partner will be displayed on all of their feeds – are you ready?

The message to the ex 

Another implication when declaring a new relationship online is that it sends the message to any ex-partners that you’ve ‘moved on’. Sometimes, in their haste to prove to an ex that they’re not still pining, people will dive head first into declaring a new love to the world just to stick it to the one who dumped them.

It’s not a smart move and you could end up with egg on your face if your new relationship isn’t quite strong enough to go the distance.

But what if the ex has been rejected?

 Of course, the other side to this problem is when your ex is the one being left behind. Should your ex-partner still be able to see your social media accounts, are they going to be ready for this? Are you on good enough terms that it won’t be a problem?

Logging in to your account to find a picture of your former flame in the arms of someone else can be a pretty big blow to the self-esteem. Would it be so awful to keep things low-key until you talk to them?

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Talking to your new love 

There are so many ways to meet new people today that the boundaries of ‘dating’ and ‘in a relationship’ can become blurred. If you’ve met through eHarmony Canada, for example, and have been on a few dates, does this count as a relationship?

What if you’ve fallen head over heels for each other? There’s only one way to find out and that’s by talking with your new love. The last thing you want is for them to be surprised by your Facebook declaration because they’re not on the same page.

There’s no pressure

Whatever you decide, there’s no right or wrong way to do things. If you both want to state your relationship to all and sundry after just a few dates, that’s fine. It’s equally fine if you want to wait for a proposal before you go public.

Your close friends and family will find out anyway should things get more serious so there’s no need to feel as though you’re hiding anything. Your online profiles are still your own business – no matter how many people you show them to.

DH Vancouver Staff
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