In the mighty jungle the lion comes out to play. But what does he find? Confusion, withdrawal, and a guilty feeling. Ok really this isn’t the whole story. But thankfully someone tackled the elephant in the room with “Do Vancouver Men Suck?”.
I’m afraid the right people are not going to read this and it will be a challenge to effect positive change. But keep reading, because you will become wiser and smart people have more sex. The long topic of the “dating” scene being terrible in Vancouver greatly interests me, especially since I grew up in a combo of a massively wealthy mountain town and small city where avoiding eye contact was actually a negative quality and talking to randoms was the norm. For a while I investigated Vancouver’s anti-social tendencies to better get along with others in this otherwise awesome city. Here’s what I learned.
Let’s elevate our minds for a bit and think about the cultural tension in Vancouver. In the last 10 years, have you noticed anything? The city has a lot of immigrants! So what are the impacts? All sorts of unfamiliar faces, attitudes, and more pervade this city and it’s because people come from a different place. It’s not just Asian, but lot’s of Latin and Eastern European immigrants are coming to this city. And because Vancouver is a port city they’re more likely to settle here first.
So what are the effects? People just have a hard time dealing with something that’s not familiar to them. But what happens when there are so many unfamiliar people and everyone starts to look a little different? In the natural Canadian (and passive) tradition Vancouverites avoid the unfamiliarity. And these attitudes extend beyond our normal environments into human relationship building.
Katherine Ashenburg suggests that Vancouver men are just not ambitious enough. What the fuck? I’ve learned that there is no shortage of economic desire in Vancouver. There’s a plethora of guys willing to put in what it takes to start a business and become successful. In fact, Vancouver has one of the highest percentages of entrepreneurs in the world. Although many of them are poseur-like, the real ones greatly outnumber the fake ones. But I’ve learned that there’s an underlying influencer, one partly created from “Lesson 1”.
Remember cultural familiarity? In different cultures people express themselves differently. Many young entrepreneurs here are more Zuckerburg-like than Friedman-like. The old money prefers more materialism, and the young techies wear a hoodie. But given the high rate of “ski bums” they blend right in. The young guys just prefer it this way, because the world is at peace and there’s good reason to be humble. But why do Vancouver entrepreneurs have such a hard time becoming big? The old money and women don’t think they fit their idea of an “ambitious” man, and they’re afraid to support them. You silly people, Steve Jobs was an acid-tripping hippie.
This blend of unfamiliarity isn’t helping the “ambitious man” if it’s a businessman and security you are really seeking. But if you just want a man who buys nice clothes, I suggest a dose of humility before you walk down that path. Remember, you live in a city where times are a-changin’.
How you handle yourself (man or woman) really says a lot about your own abilities. Health scientists, epidemiologists, and psychologists generally agree that stress reduces our health and quality of life. But are we creating our own stress? It’s like the Fat Bastard cycle: we reject because we’re stressed, and we’re stressed from all the rejection. If we spend so much time rejecting and avoiding others, we’re leaving the situation with negative feelings and stress. The attitude must go!
A little effort goes a long way. Whether you are a man or a woman, taking the extra 10% to understand the other person will all make us happier. And you’ll never know who you will meet in the process.
Vancouver has an exceptionally needy homeless population. We are being bombarded by people looking for change. And this is partly why we avoid so many people. Imagine being a woman wandering downtown and you’re constantly approached by every man asking you for money or cooing you over your looks. Eventually, the social avoidance spreads to other people you see downtown as well. And because some of the beggars are dressed decently, others who are dressed casually might get categorized, too (see hipsters).
I really have no solution for this except to say that the homeless are generally non-confrontational. Acknowledging them and simply saying “no” will not reduce your health. In addition, both the city and province need to step up their game because this is a downright embarrassment for the first world.
First world problems. How many times did you come close to bumping into someone on the side walk because he or she was buried in a phone? Vancouver is a relatively plugged in society but this does affect us as sexual beings. More and more people now find their phone an essential organ and if you are unhappy with your sex and dating life, you need to unplug.
Does a man or woman want someone who sits behind a computer all day? Do you want to associate awesome sex with that type of environment? The smartphone is essentially a tiny powerful computer, and Vancouverites choose to sit behind their devices for a very long period of time. It’s each individual’s choice. But if you are unhappy with the men and women around you, then it’s time to put the phone down and see it with your own eyes.
The whole war between Vancouver men and women doing a lot of sucking is downright nonsense (depends on the sucking). But why did I present these lessons to you today? Because now that you are aware of it, you can choose to change it. Experiencing new and different people makes life very fun.