If ever searching for that friend with benefits, girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other, fiance, husband, or wife, there is typically one imperative factor involved in the development of that relationship. It’s called compatibility. Compatibility (as a working definition and for the purpose of this article), is an accumulation of several elements pertaining to the other individual to create attraction, which may involve a type of personality, career, common interest such as music, movies, or favorite dip for your chicken wings, attractiveness, and age.
Out of all of those compatibility elements, it seems that age is one which can easily be named as a double standard.
Observing the adorable old couple sitting on the bus holding hands or slowly lingering across the street with bags of groceries, usually it wouldn’t be difficult to roughly estimate how old they are, as well as hardly being able to tell the difference of age between them. It may also be assumed that they are the same age. The same situation could apply to a couple who aren’t as close to kicking the bucket as the elderly couple, yet the man or women is somewhat older than the other to a point of acceptability.
When you see an extremely older man with a fairly younger woman, a judgement is possibly made that she is a trophy wife, a weasel who is looking to steal cheddar, or a gold digger, while the man is slowly stretching out the last 10 years of his life seeking more perkiness and buoyancy.
In rare situations, you may see an older woman in her mid 50’s with a younger man in his mid 20’s, and your mind may automatically shift into thinking that she is what one would call a “cougar”, or a “cradle robber”. Seeing an older woman with a younger man is rarely seen or heard of, quite strange, and packed on with the assumption that the intentions are entirely non committed and immature for both parties. Even experiencing couples when the woman is only 4-8 years older, there is more of a slight judgement on the woman as opposed to the man.
All of these judgements towards people who are in relationships with someone who is older, regardless if it is the man or the woman, should be considered being thrown out the window along with the overpriced produce at Whole Foods, and replaced with support, understanding, and a ongoing sale.
In sparked attractions and chemistry that lead into relationships, there is a level of maturity and compatibility that is involved, which may be the reason you see majority of couples who are around the same. Those who are no where near the same age range, whether it is the older male or older female, the maturity and compatibility is questioned. Why? How do we know that they aren’t on the same level as maturity as one another? What if they are? What if the level of compatibility has nothing to do with age, looks, or maturity, but just simple connection? Why is there an excess of judgement towards people who chose to be with an older or younger individual?
To all of those who are in relationships with an older woman or man, or have people in their life who are committed to someone older or younger, please share your comments or experiences!