It seemed like a good idea at the time. You’re not technically over your ex, but you’ve just heard that he or she has a hot new girlfriend/boyfriend and they’re not wasting any time showing them off to everyone. So, casting all niggling doubts aside, you decide to launch yourself back onto the dating scene… only to find you’re not ready. How bad is it? Well…
Sometimes it can take a long time to meet The One, but other times you run into them on the very first try. Unfortunately, if the other person has decided they want to be with you and you’ve changed your mind, there isn’t an easy way to extricate yourself without hurting their feelings. Save them the hurt and hold back.
It’s not especially flattering for the other person if they’re spending a date watching you daydream about past times. If you’re not ready to date, it doesn’t matter how right for you the other person is, you won’t be able to enjoy their company while you’re still thinking about your ex.
No amount of satisfaction at making your ex jealous will help you to feel that you’ve truly moved on. Seeing the look on their face while you stroll down the street arm-in-arm with your new date might feel good at the time, but it won’t change anything if you’re still crying over their photo at night.
Starting to date before you’re ready is akin to running a marathon before you’ve even run 5K. It involves a mammoth amount of hiding your feelings, pretending you’re all right and forcing yourself not to dwell on things you haven’t yet dealt with. Who wants to anticipate a dinner date which requires the same amount of energy as a trip to the gym? Spare yourself and stay single.
Cast your mind back to when you met your ex. If you were lucky, finding them was the result of a chance encounter. If you were unlucky, it might have taken months or even years. Imagine putting yourself through the struggle of finding love when you’re not even ready. Every setback will sting and make you feel hopeless. Wait until you’re feeling more resilient.
If you’re desperate to get into a new relationship without having truly moved on from your ex, it might be tempting to dive into eHarmony.ca and be done with it. However, if you start lining up dates just for the sake of not being single, you won’t be able to work out who it is you really want to meet. Chances are you and your ex broke up for a reason. You’ll need time to think things through or you might well repeat the past with your next encounter.
Think of all the hobbies and interests you didn’t have time to take up while you were with your ex. Relationships are time-eaters and each person has to constantly keep the other in mind regarding every decision they make. Now that you’re single you’ve got all the time in the world to do exactly what you want, so don’t waste it.
Once you’re ready to meet someone, online dating can help you find a match quickly and easily. You can set up a profile, personalize your search and start meeting people in your area within just a few clicks. Feeling ready for a new relationship means knowing what you want and being able to start looking for it with no doubts. Click here for more information.
Photo Credit: Helga Weber