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The weirdest Canadian porn searches of 2017 (MAP)

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Daily Hive Staff Dec 05, 2017 9:30 am 27,242

These days porn is as much a part of the internet as cat gifs, stock photo memes, and all-too-tempting offers from cash-rich Nigerian Princes.

Indeed, millions and millions of people around the globe are watching people bump uglies online. Many of them are probably doing it right now in fact. (You’re welcome.)

And like the rest of the world, Canadians aren’t immune to the appeal of opening up an incognito window. But where we differ is in the kind of stuff we’re searching for as we get ready to waggle our joysticks.

Yes, according to the number crunchers over at popular porn site Brazzers, Canadians have been searching for some truly weird sh*t in 2017. Weird sh*t like Clown Bangs, dentist porn, and yes, syrup-based sex.

Thankfully the company has broken down the weirdest things their Canadian users have searched for so we can all point and laugh learn a little more about our fellow citizens.

So, in information-you-didn’t-think-you-needed-to-know-until-now, we can say with certainty that British Columbians are obsessed with Asian Nannies, the Quebecoise love their food a little too much, and Ontarians are just trying to fill a credit-card-wielding-Amish-emo-grandma shaped hole in their lives.

But Brazzers didn’t stop there. The company dove a little deeper into the numbers to uncover some other interesting titilation trends in 2017.

Did you know for example that Ontario is the province that has spent the most time on Brazzers.com this year, clocking up more than 4500 hours of screentime?

Or that Manitoba was the only place in Canada where people searched for “sandal porn”?

Finally, what about Quebec, where people were 7x more likely to search for “syrup” than any other Canadian?

What about the rest of the country?

If you’re from Prince Edward Island, Nunavut, Yukon, Northwest territories or Alberta and are concerned that your province is conspicuous by its absence from the above graphic then don’t worry.

Yes, Brazzers has taken a look at your neighbours’ naughty stuff too. Only, it turns out, that what floats your boat is altogether more mundane than the rest of the country.

In fact, you can pat yourself on the back (or, you know, wherever) for being the provinces / territories with the least bizarre searches in 2017, so kudos to you.


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Daily Hive Staff
Launched on June 1, 2016, Daily Hive is the evolution of Vancity Buzz and is now in Vancouver, Calgary, Toronto, and Montreal.

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