Getting baked lends itself to all sorts of occasions: 3D movies, going for a hike, and (almost) anything involving food. But there are some situations that can be a total buzz kill and make for a seriously awkward high.
Shopping can be stressful under any circumstance.
Cue an overzealous sales associate asking if you need help, if you know about today’s promotion, and if you want to receive 10% off your purchase by signing up for a rewards card.
You agree because you feel bad doling out repeated rejections so you stutter your way through your email address and speak too softly so you need to repeat it four times while a line forms behind you and you feel so g-damned awkward that you just leave your items on the counter and exit empty-handed before walking back in to claim a purchase you didn’t need but really wanted.
Yes, you signed up and got that 10% but not before embarrassing yourself again.
Sex and weed can be a match made in heaven, but it can also get weird, and not in a good way. Some carnal sins? Trying to make out with the worst case of pasties, zoning out completely, or falling asleep during foreplay. Not all is lost though. Laugh about being awkward, grab some snacks, light another doob, and wait until the horny kicks back in.
You go for a seat and someone gets there first so you land on their lap. You grab the pole and touch a hand instead. You clench your glutes to avoid falling but get tossed into everyone in your direct proximity with each sudden start, stop, and shift.
Maybe it’s too hot and maybe it’s too crowded. Maybe you should have just stayed home and avoided this endlessly awkward situation.
Remember how almost anything involving food is awesome when you’re high? There are two exceptions here, at family dinner. Either you’re going to gorge yourself and not talk to anyone:
or act super awkward while trying to figure out if anyone realizes there’s something slightly off about you.
Unless you’re applying for a position as a cannabis editor (😏), showing up to an interview high can be awkward AF.
Spot something shiny? Your gaze fixates on it.
Funny thought pops in your head? Your mouth clenches in some weird way while you try to stifle inappropriate laughter.
You will no doubt initiate a fumbled handshake.